Four years, four whole years at the zenith of his power as ruler of the country (Malta) at the centre of both the universe and the Mediterranean sea. As Derek Shakespeare once wrote: “Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness shoved at them.” Well, in Jo-zeff’s case it was a very happy shove. He is, without doubt, the greatest ruler we are lucky enough to have acquired through the ballot box.
And now, as Malta stands at the very pinnacle of the EU, he has found his rightful place in the world… at its head. And talking of heads, it is quite untrue to say that since he became leader of Europe Jo-zeff’s head has swollen to become absolutely massive.
As confirmation of Jo-zeff’s rightful place at the apex of Euro-power, his dominant performance at the recent EU summit merely underlined his pre-eminence. He may not have the physical stature of a May or a Merkel, but – as that pic of our great leader tucked neatly under the armpits of those two ladies in St John’s Co-Cathedral showed us, you can’t keep him out of the picture for long… or short.
I must ask Kon, when next we meet, how he managed to get his missis such a lucrative sinecure
I have heard it said, by myself for starters, that Jo-zeff’s speech to this historic conference aroused in some of the longer-toothed delegates, memories of Churchill. Debbie Churchill actually, but an orator of some substance nonetheless. Onwards and upwards would be a fair assessment of Jo-zeff’s progress over these past four years.
To weightier topics. Can you believe that Bidnija woman? Not content with being thoroughly dissed by our very own Glenn ‘Bunterfield’, she now has the audacity to try to censure our own deputy capo, Minibar Chris, for exercising his inalienable right to a bit of German totty… which he says he didn’t have anyway. Is there no end to her vindictiveness?
As my very the man himself said: “Ever since my missis booted me out, I don’t do sex… so there!.” Good old Chris, who – incidentally is looking a lot better since he was able to rubbish the “lies” of that aforementioned woman. When we met in Cordina’s I noticed he was wearing a brand new expensive looking pair of suede loafers. So I complimented him on his stylish brothel creepers. This seemed to disturb him and he was fairly curt afterwards. Strange chap.
Sadly, I see that the Opposition media is still baiting poor Konrad about his Panama piles. At a meeting of the Parliamentary Group recently and to make him feel a little better about himself, I said to him: “Never mind Kon. It’s nobody’s business how much cash you’ve got stashed away.” I thought he’d be grateful for my concern, but all he did was give me one of those peculiar little lop-sided smirks – some, rather unkindly, call them simpers – he usually reserves for over inquisitive reporters. It really is time he learned who his real friends are.
One thing I must ask Kon, when next we meet, is how he managed to get his missis such a lucrative sinecure. Since I will be getting married in July, I want to get my beloved new wife Doris a cushy little number on public funds. Believe me an extra €13,000 a month would come in very handy.
And now I see the poor, sad Opposition media have turned their pea-shooters on poor old ’varist.
You know really the attitude of the Opposition media towards some of our most deeply respected ministers makes me fume.
Comments:
Blue Rinse writes: “Have you no shame sir. You are actively supporting a criminal clique.”
Red, Red Robin writes: “We is too soft fuq ‘l’oppositin’. In Mintoff’s time he would simply have had them “beated” up and their front door set on fires… Ah happy days.”