What to get? What to get? What to get?

Actually I need to ask it one more time: What to get?

I’ll explain, because I don’t repeat the question four times just for the sake of it.

Roll back the years to Valentine’s Day, 196… (sorry, can’t reveal it…), and it’s the day my wife-to-be was born (…now you see why).

Her name? You’ve guessed it. Val (for short) says that’s not the real reason she was called that however. The first woman astronaut had been sent up into space, a Russian by the name of Valentina Tereshkova, and her dad, although not much of a romantic, was moved by the historical significance of that event.

Now fast forward to another beautiful Valentine’s Day at around the start of the new millennium, and my wife is pretty spaced out herself -- lying on a hospital bed under a heavy dose of anaesthetic. My son has just been born and, as I watch the doctor slap his bottom, I quickly banish the thought of calling him Valentino. We eventually chose a much more sensible name for a boy, if slightly more long-winded: Gabriel Sebastian.

The point is that Valentine’s Day is much more complicated in the way of presents for me than for most other people: With all the birthdays, there are three to buy, four if you add the one from Gabriel to Val, he being only six. For one who habitually leaves gift-buying to the last minute, just like the man from Mars in that famous book (with women being from Venus), the panic moment is multiplied by four.

So this year I’ve tried to approach it a bit more scientifically, although it’s still eleventh hour for all of the gifts except our son’s – we made some significant savings by ordering early in sterling from amazon.co.uk this year. As for the rest of them, all for my wife…

1. February 12: I spend an hour scouting around a few of Valentine’s favourite shops in Valletta during my lunch break.

2. That evening, I subtly probe her for hints (she sees through it of course, but for birthdays at least we’re well into the stage of practicality). Probably should have done this as step one, but I’m still refining the process.

3. February 13: Having made the decisions, I go straight to the shops, in and out, process over in a few minutes.

Couldn’t be more male and Martian than that, really. Not to say I don’t do it with feeling, of course. Valentine’s Day is just an opportunity to show double the affection to my very own Venus. And this morning was just like Christmas morning all over again, gifts and kisses all round – and that included me on the receiving end too. But the satisfaction of giving is what’s it’s all about. I’m lucky to have a triple dose of that on Valentine’s Day.