Sunday
The fact that my wife Angelika is pregnant again has both an upside and a downside. Obviously I’m delighted that another member of our family is on the way, but the primary upside of the deal is the fact that – for at least another nine months – my mother-in-law will stop nagging me to do something about making her daughter pregnant again.
The downside, and it’s a very deep downside, is that for the next nine months the kunjata is going to virtually move in with us. Maybe there are no upsides!
Monday
The shenanigans in Libya are reverberating throughout parliament… and beyond. Today I am approached by a reporter from Newsweek who asks me whether I am for or against foreign intervention in the dispute.
I reply that, naturally, I am on the side of right and justice. He responds with: “So you approve then?” I didn’t say that, but if he wants to take it that way it’s up to him. I think we are entirely right to hide behind the illusion of neutrality… at least until we know which side is going to win.
Tuesday
A very old and eminent party grandee has written his memoirs. I haven’t read them yet, but at parliament today a colleague – the permanent secretary at the Ministry for Shunting Controversial Issues onto the Back Burner – tells me: “You must read it. It gives a damn good account of the pogroms of the 1970s and 1980s. Oh… and you even get a mention on page 374.”
Me? But I hardly know him! Still, he seems a pleasant old cove. So I flip through the book until I find the page.
It reads: “Oh where, oh where are the bright young blades of the party? Today mediocrity rules; otherwise why would (my name) ever be given a seat in parliament, let alone a parliamentary secretariat?”
Senile old fart, I never did like him.
Wednesday
Have lunch with an old friend in Sicilia Calda. After a few glasses of Chardonnay and some catching up, he enquires: “Excuse me for asking but… what precisely does the permanent secretary for Fooling Some of the People Some of the Time actually do?”
I explain that together with my minister, the Minister for Obfuscation, we, er... obfuscate.
For instance, take the possible referendum on the divorce issue. Obviously we – as a party and as a government – are dead against the whole idea of divorce, in whatever form. So it is my secretariat’s job to make the referendum ballot paper so obtuse and imprecise that nobody will have the faintest idea what they are voting for, or against, so they give up and go home.
Clear now? Good.
Thursday
My lunch with a dear old friend yesterday has had repercussions.
Today I am hauled over the coals by the Chief Whip for consorting openly… with a prominent member of the opposition executive. Charlie? No way! The mayor of Benghajsa? Is he really? Good grief, I thought he’d have much better taste. Sorry, I won’t do it again… promise.
Friday
I am decidedly teed off. While one of my PS colleagues’ hare-brained notion to dig a tunnel under the channel to link Malta and Gozo by road is given a sympathetic, nay enthusiastic, hearing by our top brass, my own clearly thought-out and innovative suggestion is poo-pooed and laughed out of court. Amazing!
Because I think my idea to turn Buskett Forest into a safari park, with lions, tigers, rhinos, monkeys, bears and a few wild boar, is just what we need.
Okay, maybe we would lose a few tourists each year… especially some of those in the open-top buses, but that would just be collateral damage. Think of the big picture, and the enormous boost it would give to our tourism product.
Saturday
Yesterday, Angelika went for a scan. Happily, it showed that our baby – or blob at the moment – is developing normally. But since Angelika doesn’t want to know its sex until it’s actually born, that means I don’t get to know either.
But it’ll be a boy this time for sure. At least it had better be; then I will be able to tell the kunjata that having got the full set… we are going to stop at that.
Some chance!