These last few weeks before the ‘divorce’ referendum are very difficult for the Church. On one hand, it has to bear clear and constant witness to its teachings. It is not morally acceptable for Catholics to divorce, and no law can make this right.

The Church also has a duty, even towards the pluralistic nature of our democracy, to make its opinion known on things which it believes are for or against the common good. But it must do this while showing genuine pastoral care towards those who consider divorce to be a solution to their own difficult personal situations and to that of others.

The Church has to dialogue with all of these people. Dialogue means talking to and listening to others. Most of those in favour of divorce legislation are also sons and daughters of the Church. They will still be around after May 28 and will still be sons and daughters of the Church.

Consequently, the Church cannot risk winning the ‘divorce’ battle at the expense of losing the war by unnecessarily opening new wounds. There are many fine lines which the Church, especially the bishops, have to pay attention not to cross during these last few weeks.

They should reject the temptation to use a deductive, paternalistic or absolutist approach. This will get the Church nowhere but into trouble. They should avoid directly or indirectly referring to sin in this debate.

Unfortunately, there are too many ‘devout’ bulls in the referendum china shop.

I particularly refer to the members of the ‘God said so’ brigade. These generally project the divorce debate as a struggle between God and the devil. They are strongly present among the Church’s grass roots.

This argument has its validity with some believers but is the least effective of the arguments against the introduction of divorce legislation. Opponents of this argument will point out that religions have repeatedly abused this argument and used it to justify all sorts of obscenities throughout the ages. Besides, Maltese of different religions believe God agrees with their opinion too.

This argument brings a negative reaction especially from those who believe the Church is just trying to preserve its power. Others, who do not judge the Church so harshly, are still genuinely convinced that divorce is not against the common good and should be legalised. Many Catholics are of this opinion and I discussed the legitimacy of their position in this column last Sunday.

The most effective position on the subject is that expressed by those Catholics who try to show why it is not wise for our society to abandon our model of indissoluble marriage for a concept of marriage that can be very easily dissolved as proposed by the Private Member’s Bill on divorce.

These Catholics try to give the reasons why it makes more sense to take all possible measures to strengthen the family structure than to change it. Should we change our concept of marriage without at least undertaking a serious study of how this change would affect our society, our concept of commitment, the good of the children and that of the marriage partners themselves?

Should our concept of marriage be treated more lightly than a tourism project which is subjected to so many studies before it is approved or rejected?

These Catholics make these arguments while showing great respect for those who think otherwise, even if and when this respect is not reciprocated. Ironically, they also have to contend with the holier-than-thou fundamentalists who are so strong among the Church’s grass roots.

I fervently pray that our Church will succeed to be sanely and convincingly present in the debate in a spirit of true service to our citizens, while communicating its genuine pastoral concern to all those – including many very good Catholics – who hold a different opinion. Only in this way can the Church achieve a win-win situation, independently of the result of the referendum.

joseph.borg@um.edu.mt