I've nothing against the Germans as a race, of course - they're as good or bad as anyone else. I'm not particularly enamoured of the country for tourism purposes and their language is a closed book, though after spending some days in Scandinavia once, it was a refreshing change to be able to understand one word out of a thousand.

But I have to ask, with all due respect, or more honestly, none at all, what the heck was the Malta Tourism Authority thinking when it appointed a German gentleman as our Food Ambassador?

I mean to say, I've spent some time in Germany and, not to put too fine a point on it, finding a Mexican (faux Mex, to be more precise) joint in the middle of Munich was like stumbling upon a purveyor of nectar and ambrosia. The usual fare, otherwise, was stodge, stodge, more stodge with a leavening of cabbage and spuds thrown in.

I've never had the pleasure of ingesting nourishment from this particular exponent of the Teutonic culinary arts' establishment, which I believe (though I sit subject to correction on this) is in Buġibba, of all places. Now, I don't hold myself out to be the be-all and end-all of food criticism in this fair land, this is a function I leave to be fulfilled by Mona and her Meals, but before coming across the news that the Germanic One had been appointed as our representative in foreign climes on the food front, I'd never even heard of him or his esteemed hostelry.

When I say "esteemed", I am relying on the fact that it must be esteemed by someone, because why else would we have chosen to employ as our envoy a denizen of a land which is renowned for many things but among which haute cuisine is not one?

Apparently, he has a great TV personality and comes across as something of a star and this inspired the blokes entrusted with marketing our tourism product to have him as one of our faces. Again, far be it from me to gainsay those who, at least in their own estimation, are much more adept at the black art of publicisation than I, but I have to point out that German TV is, from what we get to see of it, dire in the extreme.

I mean to say, they like Benny Hill and particularly cringe-making candid camera-type shows, where the predominant strands of the fare put on for viewers' delectation are women with large attributes and men being hit on the head with wet fish.

So I trust I'll be forgiven for wondering out loud, again with all due respect, why anyone would imagine that a German chef who also is a TV celebrity (presumably on German TV) is the sort of face we want to present to the world.

My sense of wonderment is enhanced when I recall that we have, just to name a few, people like Christopher from Ambrosia, Patrick from It-Tmun (Victoria) and Frank from Shisha who might not be instantly recognisable in Frankfurt or Mannheim but whose skills in flipping burgers and providing a welcome are renowned among those of us who know about these things.

Angling for votes

So there you have it, folks. The angelic one (Anġlu, as in Farrugia, translates to angel, which I then mangle into angling) has pulled a blinking bunny out of his hat and got himself into the news, a stunt cunningly timed to have him on everyone's lips while he ponders the question whether or not to take a pot-shot at one of the positions that are opening up within the MLP hierarchy.

The stunt consisted in his pitching up to police GHQ, there to seek an audience with the Police Commissioner to present him with a three-page document containing all the evidence he had in hand about the sensational vote-buying scandal.

I can just imagine the Top Cop, a chap of enormous patience, rolling his eyes skywards at the thought of yet another Labour politician rolling into his office with yet another political gimmick designed to propel the politician into the news.

Precisely how Dr Farrugia expects his three-page report to be taken seriously is not exactly clear to anyone, especially since he himself later said that, on a best-case basis, he predicts that his information would create a political rather than a legal problem for the government.

If this is the case, surely the Accountant General should consider drawing up an invoice for police time wasted and despatching same to Dr Farrugia!

You see, the cops are there to investigate legal issues (and legal issues with a criminal aspect, to boot) and not to waste their time, and our money, on escapades proposed by politicians.

Oh well, I suppose as long as the MLP's rapidly dwindling band of apologists can amuse themselves a little bit more, blaming everyone except Alfred Sant and his minions for their fourth defeat (I'm including the EU referendum for the sake of emphasis) I suppose that's all right then.

Will they, won't they?

As I write, the European Court of Justice is debating whether or not to issue an interim injunction stopping hunting in spring.

I've made myself clear on the whole hunting thing: I'd love to see it banned and, yes, Carmel Farrugia from Birkirkara (writing in Wednesday's The Times) one of the reasons for this is because the thugs that were demonstrating in favour of bird-killing some months ago attacked journalists, among whom was, to quote this gentleman (I use the word in its loosest possible sense)

"that virtuous paragon of newspaper photographers", my son.

If Mr Farrugia and his like think that resorting to cheap insult and personalising issues is in any way cute, then fine, let them think so.

I, on the other hand, am proud to be the father of this "paragon" and I despise anyone who tries to denigrate him and his colleagues who, while doing their jobs, were attacked by a crowd of cowardly bullies only for the leaders of the bird-killing community to turn around and say they were the ones being provocative.

So, if by the time you read this, hunting has been stopped for this spring I, for one, will not lose any sleep but nor will I if the decision goes the other way, since I, unlike many bird killers, believe in the rule of law.

Settled dust

Now that the dust has settled on the Naxxar tragedy, I'd like to float a few ideas around.

Given that the time of year when the fireworks were being stored was hardly one during which a connection with religious festivities is likely, and given that celebrations in connection with the expected election results were being contemplated, is it utterly impossible that there is a political angle to what happened?

I'm not, of course, saying that any of the political parties or, for that matter, any of the individual candidates connived in the brazen breach of the law that was perpetrated by the manufacture and storage of fireworks illegally.

On the other hand, it is a distinct possibility that there might be some candidate or other who is harbouring a distinct suspicion that his supporters might have been planning - and perhaps were prevented by the result from executing - a spectacular celebratory display.

Another idea: Isn't it time that the Curia came down once and for all on the side of the fireworks industry being properly regulated and controlled? I'm not suggesting that a ban be imposed, I'm not crazy, but a bit of restraint might be called for at this juncture.

And to be going on with the ideas, isn't it time for the various manufacturing facilities to be centralised - in separate enclaves if necessary - away from centres of population?

Good food rules

We started this week with a reference to the culinary arts and we'll end that way too.

When in Gozo, you could do worse than seek out Porto Antico, which is in Mġarr down in the marina area, opposite where the ferries moor. Parking is easy and the food and service are well up to the mark.

Up above, pretty much, the same place, just a bit to the right as you're looking from the ferry, is the Country Terrace, which has one of the best views ever, together with very acceptable nosh. We went there for lunch, which is a more logical time of day if you want to enjoy the view to the full, and the service was good though a touch on the slow side - not the staff's fault. We'll be going again, though.

For work-related reasons, I was forced to dine at Quadro's at the Westin, instead of watching Chelsea get an away goal which should see them through, unless they mess things up. To be honest, I'm glad I was forced to do this, because it was a rather decent meal, and then some, and it's only half-time with an away goal counting double.

imbocca@gmail.com, www.timesofmalta.com/blogs