Most of us throw our rubbish in garbage bags… but some women use black bin liners for their belongings when they take off from home after being abused by their partners.

One particular woman packed and unpacked 22 times over a 10 year period as she and her children moved back and forth between shelters, relatives’ homes and rented apartments.

“Nowhere is home. Many victims live out of black bin liners. When you’re in a rush to leave, you pack your life in the largest bag you can find, and you have no time to look for the suitcase.”

This is part of the feedback that Elaine Compagno, coordinator of Soar Service, provided by the Jean Antide Foundation, has gathered from survivors of domestic violence over the past three months.

Ms Compagno has only spoken to female victims because the support group is made up of some 70 female survivors. The youngest is a 20-year-old mother, while the eldest is 65. It is a peer-to-peer support group, based on the female experience of intimate-partner violence, and she believes a similar group should be set up by men for male victims.

Ms Compagno is preparing for a conference addressed by survivors about their experience with the police, lawyers, court and child maintenance among others.

One of the main issues that stood out was the lack of shelter for victims of violence who are on methadone or still addicted to illegal substances. “In many cases, the addiction and the violence are all related to one person – the abuser, and it is unacceptable that there is no shelter to cater for these women,” she said, urging the State to protect these victims.

Meanwhile, there are many who would have been perfectly safe if they remained at home and the perpetrator left instead.

“The Istanbul Convention demands that this issue has to be addressed, and yet, women are still being displaced, many with children in tow, moving from one place to another.

“This brings many difficulties with it, including shuttling children to school, so they are not moved around from one school to another. Most often, victims of domestic violence do not own a car.”

Nowhere is home. Many victims live out of black bin liners

When victims leave the house, they are most often penniless.

Their only option is to use legal aid, however, they then have to foot the notary’s bill, ranging between €200 and €350, which they can’t afford. Since they cannot finalise their separation procedure, they remain in limbo.

Most are jobless, and use the little they have to pay rent. They are caught in a vicious circle because although they can apply for social benefits, these are means tested.

One particular woman has been asked to declare her assets to be granted benefits. She owns a couple of inhabitable garages, which she is not able to sell or rent. However, to declare their value, she needed a civil engineers’ estimate, which cost her money that she did not have. When she finally managed to pay for the estimate, it left her broke and her benefits application is still pending.

“Survivors are tired of the legal system and at the same time, they are often told by the abuser to go to the police as ‘no one is going to stop him, not even the magistrates’.

“When they turn up at the police station, they are actually let down as some officers are not trained to handle victims. There is also no privacy, and there have been times when women have had to file a report in front of anyone who came in the police station, including the perpetrator himself.

“There needs to be one central station where officers can take victims who go to police stations to file a report,” Ms Compagno said, noting that victims have had a positive experience at the Police Depot in Floriana.

When contacted, a spokeswoman said the Home Affairs Minister has recently remarked that the training of police officers to address better cases of domestic violence will be given immediate attention.

Currently, 25 officers and non-commissioned officers are undergoing such training by the Police Force and the Mental Health Services Psychology Department.

This is the first cycle, and training will be extended in the coming months.

The ministry also recognises that quite a number of police stations are in need of proper refurbishment. It has assigned an architect to review their physical situation and compile a report on the adjustments required to reflect the exigencies of a modern force, including dealing with cases of domestic violence.

Meanwhile, with reference to notary fees, Justice Minister Owen Bonnici noted that he was discussing, with the Notary to Government, the feasibility of providing services in such cases.

Soar has just issued a booklet that follows Jenna through her childhood to her teen years as she witnesses domestic violence. The publication Caterpillar in a Jar is based on true experiences and is sold for a donation in aid of the foundation.

Female survivors who would like to take part in this conference can send an email message to soarmalta@gmail.com.

Life after domestic violence

“The policeman told me ‘God knows what a comfortable life you led off his earnings. I’ll just ask you one question. Do you have a car?’ I answered: ‘Yes, I have a car.’ He said, ‘And who bought the car?’ I said: ‘My husband.’ And he said: ‘You see how lucky you are.’

“At court he would be in the same waiting room and he would use various methods to ridicule me and embarrass me. It was another form of psychological manipulation.

“During our mediation meetings I was so scared I held my lawyer’s hand under the desk and didn’t let go.”