If Joseph Muscat wants to get my vote in the next election, here's exactly what he must do: follow in the footsteps of his unofficial mentor, the UK opposition leader David Cameron, and brave the roads - on a bicycle.

It takes a bold man to hit our crazy video-game-like road-rage ridden lanes in the cleanest form of transport. It takes an even more daring one to actually lead by example and show everyone that this is the way forward on this tiny island - where everywhere is just 20 minutes away.

We are shockingly the fourth country in the world with most cars per capita - 600 cars for every 1,000 people. We are only surpassed by the US, Luxembourg and Australia (possibly Luxembourg has gone up the list because of the big Maltese community living there).

I'm not asking much out of Joseph, am I? He's a gym addict after all, and needs his treadmill fix on a daily basis. What I'm saying here is: Joseph, forget running around in agony on a lonely treadmill and please start promoting healthy exercise through social interaction.

I would have suggested this to Austin Gatt, the actual Transport Minister, but I think he's suffering from an acute case of tinusitis and would be a peril on the road. The man is justifying the murder of one of the few green spots on the island to make way for a parking space in Għadira - he's a prime example of how our country leaders need to get in touch with their inner soul, or perhaps with their inner common sense.

And frankly, the budget throw line of a subsidy of about 15 per cent on the cost of a new bicycle (which will now be capped, it has been learnt) 'to encourage people to take exercise and use clean modes of transport' is a snort-inducing farce. It was just added so as to make the budget look fashionably green.

Rest assured there won't be any queues at bicycle shops. Why? Because people fear the roads even in cars let alone on bicycles. What's the point of an incentive like this if there are no bicycle lanes?

I mean decent bicycle lanes, not the odd paint job here and there which suddenly disappears half way through your route. So pssst! Messrs (finance minister) Tonio Fenech and Gatt, this is what needs to be done 'to encourage people to take exercise and use clean modes of transport': give us proper bicycle lanes; invest in community bicycle programmes; and finally get all MPs to cycle to work (led by example).

Elsewhere in the world cycling has taken a boost. It started off last year in Paris, with the introduction of Le Velib, a community bicycle programme set up by the government to truly encourage people out of their cars and onto pedal power.

It basically works like this: you pick up a bike from any station you like, pay some loose change and then you can just park it in another bay anywhere in the city once you've finished. The scheme has been a succès formidable, and all of a sudden the system has been sprouting, to great acclaim, in all major European cities. These cities, may I remind you, are roughly the same size as the whole of Malta. London will be following suit by next year.

Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London who regularly turns up on his bicycle to meetings (there it is again: leading by example), last week expressed despair at the fact that just one per cent of Londoners use two wheels to get around the capital - this compared with 20 per cent of people living in Copenhagen, and 30 per cent of those in Norwich. And probably 0.002 per cent of those living in Malta. Now here's an idea for Valletta mayor Alexei Dingli.

What's stopping you from luring an investor to place cycle stations at regular intervals along our Valletta streets? Yes it's hilly, but with the advent of the electric motor ecobike, nobody needs to be doing any extra huffing and puffing.

The bottom line, if you'll excuse the pun, is that we need to get our lazy fat bums off our car seats because we have reached a hysterically ridiculous point where we are getting in our cars to go for dinner at our next door neighbour's. But for an alternative we need the government's input. It's high time we were given the opportunity to cycle safely and feel the wind in our hair.

On a bike, life takes an altogether calmer form and instead of road rage, we'd all be given the chance to experience moments of pure joy - particularly Joseph, if he knows he's won a new vote.