Shopping is one of the most shared experiences in the modern world. Everybody shops – from groceries and clothes to cars and houses, we all exchange our money for goods.
Resonating with the changing world and our shifting needs, everything about shopping is different than it was a few decades ago. These changes reflect challenging economic times, the closing down of a number of local shops and the opening of more supermarkets and shopping centres, aggressive advertising, and the increasing popularity of online retail.
The function of shopping has also changed radically. In the past, the main reasons for shopping were practical – shopping was about buying items that people needed in order to survive. Today we shop to reward ourselves, to feel good about ourselves, and to make a statement.
Through shopping, we build a sense of who we are, who we don’t want to be, and where we fit in the world. We define ourselves not only by what we buy but also by how and where we shop.
Customer behaviour also reflects economic, social and psychological factors. Men and women, for instance, have a different view of shopping. But then, shopping is discriminatory and often sexist, presenting compartmentalised units according to gender. Generally, women still seem to be mainly responsible for shopping related to household duties, which is probably a reflection of the fact that even if most women are in the workforce, they are still expected to carry out several household chores.
Moreover, the notion that men hate shopping is not true. Men like to shop for things they want and generally they are more strategic than women when they shop. They seem to be most involved when big decisions need to be taken such as buying a car, a house or furniture.
Beyond what is often perceived as superficial, there could be some profound dynamics attached to people’s purchasing behaviour as it is a reflection of priorities and values. Whether we choose to invest in a family trip or save the money to buy a bigger house reflects the value system of our family unit.
Another significant aspect of shopping is that at times it takes the function of a ritual, defining more strongly the phase we are in our life or the new identity which is still emerging. For instance, imagine a pregnant mother shopping for her first baby’s outfit, or a grandmother buying a first pair of shoes for the coming baby. The pregnant mother walks into a baby shop and for the very first time, she knows that she is buying something for her own baby. She familiarises herself with baby items and eventually chooses a shawl in which she wants to keep her newborn warm. Back home, she opens the newly purchased shawl, feels it in her hands and imagines a baby nestling in her arms. This process in itself is supporting her in the development of her new psychological identity of mother.
Shopping also accompanies us through most of the meaningful moments in life. As people turn to their friends or family members to share their shopping experiences, shopping can actually generate closeness in relationships. A young woman shopping for her wedding gown with her bridesmaid can create cherished moments. Similarly a young man buying his first car with his father can fuel a meaningful connection in the father-son relationship, which is about trust, hope and dreams. In this case, the shopping experience goes well beyond the necessity of buying a car.
On the flip side, shopping is at times used to replace meaningful moments with families and loved ones. Some parents repeatedly shop for expensive gifts when they miss their children as they spend more and more time at work, and people indulge in shopping when they feel sad or lonely instead of building their social support network. This often leaves people feeling frustrated, dissatisfied and somewhat empty as emotional pain cannot be fixed through shopping.
On the same lines, goods cannot substitute time spent with family. Presents might well be an expression of love, but they do not substitute love. A reality check can be very useful here. Surely children like gifts – however they are nourished much more when parents spend time playing with them. It is also a way of teaching children about the value of family and relationships. Communication through gifts is significant – however, relationships are sustained when people remember the significance of events, make themselves available and connect with each other.
Although shopping might sound trivial, some people have problems controlling their spending – this often leads to financial disaster. Several factors might be at play. One is that the behaviour is the result of poor money management skills. However when shopping is out of control, it often reveals symptoms in need of psychological attention. Signs that shopping is actually a problem are when people have secret credit card accounts, have a pattern of compulsive buying, repeatedly overspend, or if shopping is stressing significant relationships. Other indicators are shopping sprees with an overtone of self-medication, distress as a consequence of shopping, or impulsivity in spending.