It is the time of the year when businesses close their accounts and finalise their budgets for 2018. It is also the time when people reflect on another year’s achievements and failures while listing their regrets and defining their aspirations.
As we all know, hindsight is 20/20. Some believe that destiny determines what we do. Others argue that life is what you make it. I have reviewed some business and well-being articles on the international and local media on what are people’s 2017 regrets and aspirations for 2018.
The most recent and impressive regret was expressed by actor David Cassidy, the idol of many baby boomers, who passed away a few weeks ago aged 67. According to his estranged daughter, Cassidy’s last words were, “So much wasted time.” Don’t we all know of experiences in our personal and work lives where we too regret wasting time on futile endeavours?
The online magazine Business Insider refers to a national survey conducted in the US that researched the regrets of a typical American. I believe that the findings would not be much different if the study were conducted in Malta. Let’s look at some of the results of this survey.
A universal regret is that of couples postponing having children to pursue their career ambitions. One woman said: “For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to have kids. But in my younger years, I foolishly assumed that unlike certain accomplishments such as a career, the marriage and kids thing would just follow.”
Regrettably, this woman goes on to confirm that in her late 30s, ovarian cancer left her permanently infertile.
Balancing life and work pressures in a society that imposes strict lifestyle standards is no easy task
Many rightly observe that children never love their parents as much as their parents love them. Many come to regret their failure to appreciate the hard work that parents coping with the tensions of maintaining a life-work balance go through.
One survey participant comments: “I regret not choosing to spend more time with my parents in my twenties. I lost my mother in 2000 and I feel the loss of the friendship we never had. She was very demanding, very strict and form the perspective of a young man, very unreasonable. It turned out as I live through my middle age, that most of the ideals I have today ended up being the ones she put on me.”
Educational achievement is one of the critical success factors for a fulfilling life. Many regret too late in life not taking up opportunities to further their education.
“I wish I would’ve followed my dreams when I was in my late teens and deciding what I wanted to take in University. Had I decided to believe in myself – my talents, my passions and my dreams, instead of worrying about getting a good job, my life would be very different today,” said one disillusioned respondent.
People whose only obsession is personal wealth may learn from one survey participant who said: “If I could speak to my 25-year-old self, I would say: “Don’t worry about money as much. Take more chances. Take a year off, explore the world. It’s not too late, but it gets harder, even without kids.”
Another regret that I am sure many successful business people and professionals share is that of not spending enough time with their children when they are young. “I have but one regret: the time I did not spend with my children when they were young. I was a typical type A, work-obsessed male professional operating under the false belief that working hard to improve our financial security was my primary goal and responsibility.”
How many of us confirm that this is also their main regret in life?
A retired friend of mine shared a regret that did not feature in my research on the subject. He told me he regrets believing that most politicians are genuinely committed to bettering the lives of people. “I have been living in denial for decades as most politicians are just interested in making life better for themselves,” was his depressing comment.
Regrets can often be turned into aspirations and New Year resolutions if we find the time to reflect on the experiences of others who are honest enough to acknowledge their past weaknesses. Balancing life and work pressures in a society that imposes strict lifestyle standards is no easy task.
Undoubtedly, the saddest words that we can imagine saying are David Cassidy’s last words: “So much wasted time.”
johncassarwhite@yahoo.com