The best sandwich I have ever eaten was from the Autogrill roadside cafe just before Tindari in Sicily. Crusty bread held chunks of mozzarella oozing milky goodness, salty ham and sweet cherry tomatoes. It was good and it was fresh and it was served up with steaming hot coffee. But it was all the more welcome because it was the first thing I had eaten after a long drive and an early morning flight.
The whole purpose of that roadside cafe, and others like it, was to provide refreshment and sustenance to drivers who had travelled long distances. By long distances I mean hundreds of kilometres and not within spitting distances of village cores heaving with assorted pastizzeriji, coffee shops and restaurants.
Till now the general consensus has been to the effect that man can survive for a couple of hours without eating and not risk death by starvation. However, this general consensus is now being challenged by Maltese developers who are applying to open roadside kiosks and restaurants to provide succour to drivers who have ventured some 20 metres beyond the last burger joint.
The so-called “most beautiful road in Malta” – the Coast Road? That little stretch beyond Baħar iċ-Ċagħaq (two ice cream kiosks, at least one restaurant serving rabbit and a host of others) and Buġibba the fast-food mecca? Two new kiosks are being proposed along the road – presumably to feed the starving masses as they totter through the nugget-devoid wasteland of the shore. One is to be an ice cream parlour and the other is to be that staple of the Maltese landscape – a takeaway.
Move over a few kilometres to the centre of the island – to Mdina Road. There’s a huge petrol station looming over the road. Its owner seems to have visions of road food domination. He has submitted an application for an extension consisting of a catering establishment built over two levels over 520 square metres of land. This would include space for chairs and tables to be placed outside and it would be covered by a massive dome-shaped cover resulting in the sort of cafe Darth Vader would feel at home in.
Objecting to any development applications – however outrageous – is like whistling in the wind these days
Aesthetics aside, I am wondering what target diner this establishment is being built for?
The one who has made it beyond the cake and pastry cafes of Attard and who does not have the energy reserves to press the gas pedal long enough to find sustenance in Rabat or Mdina?
The traveller who is driving in the reverse direction and who forgot to wolf down a slab of chocolate cake?
The driver who feels that the whafts of petrol fumes add that special something to his gourmet experience?
The one who feels a smidgeon of smugness and schadenfraude watching irate drivers held up in traffic jams as he sips on coffee inside his plastic bubble?
Most probably the people who will flock there are those who used to picnic at Kennedy Grove – a pathetic excuse for an outdoor dining spot.
I have little hope that planning permission will not be granted for these kiosks. Objecting to any development applications – however outrageous – is like whistling in the wind these days.
However, I find it ironic that the government is promoting healthy eating drives and has pledged to eradicate heart disease while promoting unhealthy and car-dependent lifestyles on the other.
A recent study by the Today Public Policy Institute found that the Maltese are the most obese, the laziest and most car-dependent people in the world. A slew of new kiosks is only going to make that worse.
cl.bon@nextgen.net.mt