The self-help author and motivational speaker, Anthony Robbins, said: “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” The misery certain people live comes from the sheer fact that instead of building bridges they end up erecting walls around themselves! Since they are sorely critical of the value of trust they bury themselves in the horrible grave of suspicion which, in itself, generates a devastating loneliness. Thus, they live their death on a daily basis!
It is true that many people have been deceived in relationships. They loved wholeheartedly and got paid with betrayal in return. Nevertheless past hurts are there to spur us to trust the right people and enjoy and learn much from their company.
The mystery of the Trinity is the exemplar of how our relations should be. When love is authentically given there are always three realities at play: the lover, the beloved and the love which makes them one.
We can see this dynamic continually evolving itself within the Blessed Trinity. The Three Divine Persons, which theologically are defined as “subsistent relations”, do not have relations but “are” themselves relations. They exist as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. In the words of Fr Raniero Cantalamessa OFM Cap, preacher of the Papal household, “the Trinity reveals the secret to good relationships. Love, in its different forms, is what makes relationships beautiful, free and gratifying. Here we see how important it is that God be seen primarily as love and not as power: love gives, power dominates”.
When I say I love someone, do I dominate that person? Do I possess himor her? Or do I welcome that person and give myself to him or her?
Anthony Robbins rightly pointed out that “some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”
Is not this the Trinitarian logic of love? Are we not in dire need to combat the diverse forms of egoism that surround us by learning from the Trinitarian school how to relate with one another?