Whether you’re an expectant father or a new dad, your life has probably already changed in some exciting and surprising ways. Theatre producer Wesley Ellul talks to Simonne Pace about his euphoric joy at being able to hold baby daughter Georgia in his arms for the very first time.
Theatre producer and director Wesley Ellul, 34, met his wife, Rebecca Galea Urpani, 27, for the first time in 2002, a day before he left on a three-week trip to Mexico. The couple hasn’t looked back since.
Getting married in 2011 after nine years of dating, Wesley and Rebecca are parents to a beautiful Siamese cat, Mocha, who features heavily on their Facebook albums, and their newborn daughter Georgia, whom they are just getting to know.
While it wasn’t love at first sight for the couple, Wesley says something had stirred inside Rebecca the first time they met. Before leaving, Wesley had told her he worked for a radio station and would have a couple of live links from Mexico.
At the time, Wesley presented a show on Campus FM. So, in his absence, Rebecca tuned in for three whole weeks, between 4 and 7pm, listening out for her future husband’s links.
“The only issue is that she got the name of the station wrong and was listening to Capital Radio for that whole time!” says Wesley, who also owns Untangled Media and Ticketline.com and is the founder of TAC Theatre and The Comedy Knights.
The couple met up again a week after Wesley returned from Mexico, thanks to the interference of a mutual friend. And that was that.
“We’ve been infatuated with each other ever since,” says Wesley, who has been involved in theatre since 1998.
Theatre being Wesley’s true love and passion, on completing university the young entrepreneur spent some years in the entertainment industry as a radio and club DJ. In 2005, he started Findit.com.mt with his partner James Calvert and began growing Malta’s first web media company, focusing solely on online media.
Having set up websites like Whatson.com.mt and Keepmeposted in the past, the social media guru has done well for himself, with a web company that provides web-based solutions for small and large organisations.
In the meantime, Wesley has been professionalising the theatre scene, having founded a number of small theatre companies to help build a sustainable environment – where he hopes to have Malta’s first troupe of theatre professionals both on stage and off.
“Rebecca, my darling wife, is the reason I am not still wearing Hawaiian shirts and Cisk T-shirts,” Wesley says lovingly.
“When she isn’t organising my chaotic life and keeping our home in top shape, she is helping children with disabilities as a learning support assistant in a primary school, while also finishing off a degree in education for early years.”
Did Wesley ever think of becoming a parent? “Actively no… we only thought about it when we were pregnant. We had always said we wanted children but we never planned for them, so to speak. When the time was right, we said: ‘Shall we?’ And we did… and here we are!”
Little did I know she’d turn out to be the best bits of both of us
The couple found out earlier on they were having a girl. Wesley says Rebecca needed to know as soon as she could, because “she’d die of curiosity”.
“While I like the surprise element of the sex… there are so many other cool surprises you can look forward to when becoming a parent that knowing early was like a teaser trailer to the main event,” says Wesley, who thinks the whole experience was absolutely awesome.
He knew it was happening but he didn’t really imagine the love he’d feel for his little girl until he actually held her in his arms.
“I thought it would be how one would love a pet… but more. Little did I expect that firework to go off when I held my daughter for the first time,” he says emotionally.
Baby Georgia was due on February 18 but she joined her parents on January 30. Now that the birth is over, what does Wesley hope for?
“I just hope for what everyone really wants for their kids – happiness. I want my little girl to be the happiest girl in the world. This doesn’t mean showering her with gifts, but making sure that she has everything she needs to be an amazing person, with a lot to offer to those around her.”
Whether she becomes a famous actress or a valedictorian from Oxford, he doesn’t want to pressure his daughter with his dreams for her… “at least not just yet”.
What about fears? “I try not to have any. I always want to look at the positive and let that be my focus. I truly believe in focusing on the good around you… and only focus on the bad when I have to deal with it.”
Wesley is looking forward to his daughter’s first birthday, her first day at school, her first leading role… “the first night she comes home because she drank a little too much. I am mostly looking forward to seeing her happy every time I see her”.
He says the biggest adjustment will be trying to organise their busy lives. Being involved in the business world by day and the entertainment world by night is an excellent arrangement, but “it can cause conflicts with rehearsals, shows and meetings, so it’s going to mean I will have to organise my life better”.
Wesley truly believes in loving one’s child and that love is not simply cuddles and showering with blind praise and gifts.
“Loving your child is encouraging her to succeed, setting rules and boundaries to learn the difference between right and wrong. I think discipline is part of loving your child. Any loving parent will tell their children not to touch the stove because they will get burnt. Discipline is guiding your child so they don’t get hurt and helping them understand why rules are in place,” says Wesley, who would like his daughter to be an independent person who knows how to get the things she needs to make her happy.
“I want her to learn to be a charitable person to help when there is the need and expect nothing in return. I guess only time will tell,” he adds.
Growing up for Wesley was a great experience and he reminisces about his happy childhood. Having been brought up in Canada, he was also exposed to a lot of different things.
“In Canada, being different was normal, as all your friends come from different cultural backgrounds, so diversity was a part of our lives,” he says.
“My school friends all lived in the same area, so we’d go to each other’s houses and have a great time. Being an 80s kid also meant playing outside, be it street hockey, baseball, hide and seek or exploring the woods near our house.
“We’d have our summertime traditions and our winter customs, which were simply part of being a kid in Canada. I guess my idea of a happy childhood stems from there. It starts with having parents who love you and who care for you… who want you to be free to play and explore, yet teach you limits to keep you safe. Being able to fall but learning to get up again. This is the sort of independence I hope my daughter will have for herself.”
I want my little girl to be the happiest girl in the world
The new dad hopes to be ever present in his daughter’s life. He says he wishes to be there for all Georgia’s big moments as his parents were there for the important milestones in his life.
“Be it at her first school talent show or celebrating her 16th birthday, I’d like her to want me to be there… I don’t want to force my way in but to be wanted as part of her life,” says Wesley.
Before his baby daughter was born, Wesley says he didn’t really have a picture of her. He had an idea of a small creature who’d look like him and his wife.
“Little did I know she’d turn out to be the best bits of both of us… or so I’m told, because I’d rather be a little objective about things. But I can truly say that, in my eyes, she is the most beautiful and precious little thing I have ever seen…
“…except for my lovely wife, who is just as gorgeous.”