Stephanie Spiteri seems to be heavily connected to the "S" word. She is Stylish, Sweet, Sensitive, Successful, Straight-forward, Sentimental, and above all Statuesque. Her six-foot two body is a designer's dream - no wonder, all the way back in 1992 Ms Spiteri was one of only three Maltese models chosen by Pierre Cardin to model his drop-dead-gorgeous creations.
We're in Valletta, heading for Lo Zingaro wine bar close to the Malta Chamber of commerce. It's not easy to keep up the pace with her. Her legs seem to go ten times as fast and I'm secretly wishing I had a pair of roller blades to keep up.
"Just got this fab bikini... Do you like?" she enthuses, her rich hazel eyes sparkling.
I have a look, and so do about fifty people on Republic Street. Yes, I like!
Lo Zingaro is in a non-swinging mode right now. On the upper level two girls stand behind a counter waiting for midday city slickers to march in. It has got the air of a plebeian place where one can grab a bottle of wine and a platter to wash out the first half of a stressful day at work. The lower level is rather dark, but definitely more private. I get the feeling I am stepping into a grotto and I might even get a holy apparition if I'm good.
Stephanie chooses table 7, and in a flash a young girl with freshly dyed blonde hair and a very innocent smile glides down the spiral staircase... "Yeeees?"
I ask for the wine list.
Amnesia attack 1: She can't find it downstairs so I suggest I go upstairs and have a look at the wine selection available.... Look at the bottles, you know. I follow her upstairs and choose a Rose Rosato Salento from Italy (Stephanie wants a Rose) from the giant fridge.
The menu offers pasta, wraps, salads, ftiras, and some rice sensation. I pick a chicken wrap and Stephanie decides for a cheese and ham wrap without oregano.
Amnesia attack 2: "Not sure if we have it without oregano.." the girl says sweetly. She moves her head with the tiny jerks of a bird drinking from a pond. She is adorable mind you, but we are kind of hungry.
"I'll have a salmon baguette then," Stephanie says.
Amnesia attack 3: She is pretty sure the salmon baguettes have just finished (just our luck!).... But we can hold on until she checks. No way! We save her the trouble and decide for two chicken wraps. Problem solved! I do consider starting off a group called Amnesie International!
We sit back and enjoy a glass of wine while sharing some secrets about our lives. One might think that Stephanie Spiteri is all about glitz and glamour but there is more to this woman than just the dash of a supermodel. She has an inner strength that shines through her cool exterior and is the mother to a lovely six year old boy - Michael - who gets her full attention and pampering. She tells me that her parents are her backbone, and she would not be where she is today without them.
And our girl did go places. She is one of the hottest celebs on TV nowadays - but more than fame and glory - she is after the less synthetic things in life. Her day seems pretty well organized and her time management is strikingly impressive. I learn that her house is as colourful as she is. Orange walls in the corridor... blue walls here, and green walls there... the colour purple dominating the bedroom. Stephanie has brought the united colours of Benetton under one roof.
"Did you ever wish you were shorter?" I'm sure you all want to ask her that question, right?
"When I was younger! Now I'm very happy with my height," she admits.
"So... if you were an animal, you would be....."
She flashes her synonymous Miss Universe smile (she HAS represented Malta back in 1986 after all!) and giggles. "A giraffe... obviously!"
The young girl with the freshly dyed blonde hair, limpid eyes, and cute smile is back with the food and a chilled bottle of rose Rosato Salento. The wraps look good enough to devour (I'm starving) and are embellished with a crispy green salad that would not exactly make a Vegetarian's day bright and breezy. La Bionda tops our glasses with wine and asks us if everything is okay. "Call me anytime you want if you need anything," she tells us before taking her leave. It sounds like a battery operated sentence, but actually it's not. She means every word, so despite her previous amnesia attacks she gets into my good books because I feel she is making an effort and that earns her a star.
"Ooouch.." Something has hit my leg like a willow-wood cricket bat. It's Stephanie!
"I'm sorry!" Steph's legs are really long!
There are some more questions lined up for Ms Spiteri. I'm wondering what she thinks of the male species. One thing she likes about men, and one thing she dislikes.
"I like the fact they make you feel good," she confesses in between a sip of wine and a morsel of chicken wrap. "And I probably dislike the fact they can be selfish...."
"A dinner date with a brainless, sexy, toy-boy, or one with an intelligent, unattractive nerd?" It sounds mean, I know. But I'm curious. She tells me she is "beyond toy-boys."
Lo Zingaro is slowly filling up with tourists and a scattering of locals. They are actively going up and down the spiral staircase to use the facilities. Some have even discovered the grotto area we are in.
I wait for a foreign lady who has been sun-kissed just enough to look like an over-cooked shrimp to walk out of the common toilet area. Let's say World War 2 gets more exciting than this! It's a very simple affair with white tiles, a sink and a toilet - and oh, I'm wondering if Lady Shrimp nicked the toilet paper in her floral handbag....
"Can I get a Diet Coke?" Stephanie asks on my return. "I'm kind of hooked."
La bionda delivers the fizzy drink on demand.
Stephanie has told me what she dislikes about men. Now I want to know what she dislikes about herself.
"I'm very sensitive... issni B****!" She comes clean instantly.
"And what do you like about yourself?" I shoot back, watching Lady Shrimp attack her juicy burger like a great white shark locking its jaws around Oprah's thigh.
"I always find something positive in people."
And she truly does - I can deduce that from all the things she has been telling me so far.
I summon the bill, which amounts to a mere 16.50. The rose Rosato Salento costs 8.50 and the chicken wraps add up to a total of 8.00. It's good value after all! I can't get over the fact that La Bionda could not find the wine menu, and the recurring Amnesia Attacks... but all the rest was pretty okay. Lo Zingaro is very informal and not at all intimidating. If they chuck in some tasty platters on the menu it could easily become a hangout for Valletta office boys and Valletta office girls. The bathroom will never be featured on Elle Décor... but so be it!
As we step outside into the blazing sunshine a shocker questions bubbles irresistibly to mind. I ask Stephanie if she would pose nude for an anti-fur campaign. You know, the kind of campaign where you have to stand in the middle of Republic Street looking demure and angelic on a cold December morning wearing only heavy eye-liner and killer-high-heels, and carrying a sign reading PETA's famous line: "I'd rather go naked than wear fur."
She shakes her head firmly. "No, I would never pose nude."
Okay - stick to the bikini in the bag! You'll be a pretty sight anyway.
RATING: 1 - 7
Wine - ****** Ambience ***
Food - **** Service ***