Attending school for the first time does not merely involve sitting down in the classroom and starting to learn things. It is the most comprehensive and delicate step in the life of a child, since this step defines the border line between the family and society.

Our role as parents is to help our children take a steady step by understanding their development in three main areas: physical (body), social (getting to know other children) and emotional (feelings), and intellectual (thinking and learning a language) development.

Children begin to learn to love themselves and others from the moment they are born. They start to visualise right away the differences between people, the skin and hair colours and textures, eye colours and shapes, and other features. By the age of three, children start noticing that people have different physical and mental abilities. They also start sensing how we feel about them. Many children grow up feeling good about who they are. We often hear them volunteer to do something, using phrases like "Here, let me do it," or "I, I do it".

Most children feel comfortable being around other people. We hear them say "Let's play together!" or "Let me show you my toys and we play together." On the other hand, there are children who have already developed a negative perception about themselves. At this young age we might already hear children say "I can't do it," or "I never do anything right".

Parents must approach one of the most important tasks - that of helping their children love themselves - by first looking into their own attitudes, values, and behaviours. Then parents should take up activities with their children that could help them appreciate differences in others, develop a sense of fairness and learn to stand up for themselves. Parents should help children learn that being different is part of what makes a child special.

Developing social readiness for school is of utmost importance and a child's independence should be encouraged. Parents should foster confidence in their child by allowing them to do simple things, such as dressing or undressing, putting on or removing shoes, opening a bag or trying to hold a pencil, no matter how long the child takes. When children start attending school, they should also be able (or nearly able) to go to the bathroom on their own.

Spending time with the children is important. Parents should plan walks by the seaside or a ride on a bus and be able to talk and discuss what the child is seeing. This would instil curiosity and help increase vocabulary. Other activities such as cooking, cutting pictures from magazines or simple gardening are also encouraged, as these activities help the child build confidence.

Spending time with the children is of crucial importance, even if this means changing the day's schedule and adapting it to the child's routine. For example, housework could be postponed to a time when the children are already in bed.

Pre-school is when children start rapidly learning new vocabulary. Parents are normally surprised with the amount of new words a child learns, and how whole phrases are formed. Children whose parents spend time talking to them are more likely to develop a positive approach to reading. Watching TV and discussing particular images or stories with the child is also encouraged, as is the use of occasional "grown-up" phrases.

One should also teach the child how to count, for example by counting the buttons on a dress or the letters in the post. Playing with coins helps the child develop addition and subtraction skills. Similarly, the sharing of sweets can introduce an idea of division. Measuring can also be introduced by for example counting how many steps fit the width of the doorstep, or how many hand widths measure the length of the table. The concept of weight can also be taught by letting the child use the bathroom scales to weigh him/herself. Through these simple ways, children can amuse themselves while making new "discoveries".

While all these activities help the child develop certain skills, this can only be achieved if parents find the time to be with their children. Spending quality time is an investment in the child's education.

For more information, contact Sandra Darmanin, principal at St Jude Kinder Playschool, Birzebbuga (tel. 2165 1412, 7965 1412).