After dry January, or ‘Veganuary’, depending which generation you form part of, parents of school-going children enter February dragging their heels.
A colleague of mine recently remarked that the phenomenon of shouldering the responsibility of our children’s academic career seems to be a unique local trait.
It certainly seems that only in Malta do parents resign themselves to hibernating for an entire month before the school’s mid-yearly examinations, or O levels, depending on what stage of the schooling game your child is at.
An ex-schoolmate bestie of mine, now a guru mother of four, confessed to feeling as though her parenting skills were on trial when her children’s exam results were revealed.
Although it is important to foster a calm, quiet home atmosphere in which our children feel encouraged to revise for their exams, it is also imperative to strike a balance in our lives as adults by not forgetting to carve out some time for fun. The danger in being over-ambitious for our children is that we put their studies above everything else, to the detriment of our partners and younger siblings.
To incentivise our children and motivate them to put in effort prior to assessments, planning short outings in the late afternoon – the quality and length of which will be directly proportional to the amount of effort they put into their revision – will stop your family members from getting on each other’s nerves.
Plan a playdate with your children’s BFF to reward them for sticking to their study timetables which you set out together, to get through the study lists with the minimum amount of last-minute cramming.
Remember that children’s short attention span requires some imagination to keep them engaged on the topic at hand. Make up some worksheets, prepare a pop quiz or print some online resources pertaining to the subject.
Diet and sleep play an important part in the attitude of our children towards their studies. Stock up on healthy snacks like nuts, fresh and dried fruit and wholegrain cereals. Ban those sugary treats and make some homemade goodies, like cereal bars, flapjacks and pancakes instead.
Resist the temptation to project your chosen path onto your offspring
Encourage a return to a respectable bedtime – I find bribery works quite well in this regard. Children love visuals, so sketch a weekly chart on a whiteboard or kartonċin and chart the daily time of their individual ‘Lights Out’. Display the chart somewhere prominent, like the kitchen, and discuss reward preferences with each child. Some of my personal favourites include having a friend for a sleepover on the weekend, taking the children to Flying Tiger or Tal-Lira to choose a gift or treating them to a Sunday buffet breakfast at a local hotel.
Members of our ever-expanding community often turn to us for expert advice. One of the most common questions we are asked, by mothers and fathers of tweens especially, is how to guide their child when they are choosing their subjects.
A career counsellor at the University, for schools that do not have one on site, is also happy to discuss subject options with you and your tween. In this way, a careers advisor will be able to see what subjects your child is interested in, and advise them which combination will give them the widest choice of career options.
Although it is easier said than done, resist the temptation to project your chosen path onto your offspring, with the hope of living vicariously through you children. Instead, take time to discover their strengths and weaknesses, and remember that academia is not for everyone. Get informed about the wide range of alternative courses on offer at Mcast, technology companies as well as trade schools.
In an effort to stay sane during exam hibernation, invite some friends over for drinks to celebrate surviving another week once the children have gone to bed. Try out some different exercise classes at the closest gym – preferably something agressive, like kickboxing – to vent your frustration of trying to get the children interested in their studies. Ask close relatives to take younger children, who would have most likely finished their exams earlier, off your hands for a couple of hours, to lessen sibling distraction and jealousy.
In the dead of winter many parents turn to shaking up their routine and trying out something new. Everyone stuck in the studying rut has plenty of time to research how to put the pizzazz back into their rather bland lifestyle. The Malta Baby & Kids team recently discovered joint parent and child rollerskating classes and regular roller discos in gyms, hosted by Roller Hostess Malta.
Working towards a goal is something best demonstrated by example, so rally your squad into action and get training to walk the half-marathon or swim the Malta to Gozo open water competition.
Add an element of philanthropy, for extra kudos, and get sponsored towards a cause close to your heart. When life seems rather drab, shaking things up gives us parents a sense of achievement and well-being, with the repercussion of good vibes being felt throughout the family.
Crysta Darmanin is part of the expert team on family life in Malta who have been successfully running The Malta Baby & Kids Directory for the past 12 years. The publication, edited by parents for parents, is primarily for local parents, but is enjoyed all over the Maltese islands and abroad.
www.maltababyandkids.com