Ever since the tunnel became part of the daily dose of social media penned posts, a number of people have been contributing in different ways and though personally I tend to think of alternatives and eye feasible, economically and environmentally-friendly measures as being my main motivators for supporting direct investment in Gozo as opposed to millions of euros wasted on a white elephant, there seems to be one major benefit from the tunnel which is already being felt by some people and which seems to have completely escaped me.

Buses in Malta, are all on schedule, running at light-speed efficiency and which have reduced the two-and-half-hour journey from Ċirkewwa to Mater Dei to less than 10 minutes. Reaching any destination in Malta utilising private cars is the response to all the delays and anger, we, as Gozitan residents, are suffering at the terminals.

Gozo Business Chamber, through its support for the tunnel, seems to also be substantially gaining from this mystical  benefit, and suggesting to all commercial traffic using the same traffic-congested routes as all other traffic in Malta is the ultimate resolution to all Gozo Business issues.

The tunnel is fast creating a delusion that the transportation sector in Malta, through the widening of roads, gobbling up of thousands of metres of agricultural land, chopping down of trees, destroying micro ecosystems, is the right strategy to ensure all Gozitans will be given priority on the roads and reach all the critical destinations at an unprecedented speed. Parking will be made available at Mater Dei for all electric cars arriving from Gozo and the tunnel will end years of frustrating delays experienced by anyone dreaming of arriving at Mater Dei in time for an appointment only to be  rudely awakened by the reality that there is not even an inch to park a bicycle, let alone a pickup or van.

The second service will be a new form of meals on wheels, delivering homemade soups to the diehard tunnel supporters right to their apartments

Students who are travelling to Malta daily, using their private electric cars, will be finding a lot more space at University campus. There will be two services created. One for delivering back the dirty clothes to mummy in Gozo and the second service will be a new form of meals on wheels, delivering homemade soups to the diehard tunnel supporters right to their apartments which will also be heavily subsidised and potentially given free of charge. The service will be running 24/7 and a guarantying delivery time of less then 30 minutes to all the young chaps and gals who want to be served with fresh linen and a clean change of cloths twice daily.

On another note, as Lino Debono points out in his latest article, the tunnel, being a sole matter to be discussed by Gozitans, will see all foreigners and Maltese people residing in Gozo, stripped of every right they have and will no longer be allowed to invest in property, will no longer be given access to any service in Gozo, and will be required to travel to Malta on a daily basis, even if just for no reason at all, but with the purpose to punish them for not being sensible enough to the “needs” of “native” Gozitans, realise the “indispensability” of the tunnel and stop them from suggesting any “idealist” solutions to improve living on the island still considered to be a chicken laying golden eggs.

They will also be forced to stand in line at long queues in Floriana National Insurance block and be made to stand at no more than two metres away from a rock digger, just to make sure they comprehend that peace and tranquillity are just a luxury awarded to high class society and which in no way should be made available to the lowly village peasants living in villages, like Għarb, San Lawrenz, Għajnsielem, Qala, Nadur, Xewkija, Sannat and other villages which have a high concentration of intrusive foreigners who have nothing better to do than impose their progressive cultures onto the “natives”

I will declare my loyalty to Mr Debono and promise to adhere to his patronising agenda, not.

Just as a side note, I have purposely mentioned electric cars, as a tribute to Simon Mizzi, a self-proclaimed academic mechanical engineer (PN ERA representative) who is insisting that cars (electric) are the future. May the Lord grant him wisdom to realise his car-hugging fixations need serious reviewing as the rest of the world moves on from such obsolete nonsense.

Steve Pace is a strategic thinker.

This is a Times of Malta print opinion piece