As a woman who knows what she wants, Lady Frakasst – the dame in this year’s MADC panto Jack and the Beanstalk who is not so much a real lady as a lady of the night – has one thing on her mind: money. She puts her hopes in her son Jack – but he’s too busy trying to become a famous knight (so he can win the maiden of his dreams). When tragedy strikes and their village is attacked by giants, Jack has to step up to the plate and save the day – but can he? Lady Frakasst certainly hopes so… especially if there’s a chance he could pick up some riches on his merry way….
Lady Frakasst, which Christmas panto will be the best this year?
Honestly, what a question! I guarantee that Jack and the Beanstalk is a panto that will grow on you. It will be a giant of a show and the best you’ve ever bean to.
What three words describe you best?
Sassy, motherly and really, really loud!
Who are your role models?
Cher, Angela Merkel and Nena from the grocer’s shop down the road. I’ll tell you what, you don’t mess with Nena...
What can you do that the other dames cant?
I’m full of energy throughout the night, if you know what I mean, but don’t ask for me during the day. Anzi, Alla ħares you even look at me during the day. I’m also a dab hand at milking a cow.
Are you the best dressed of the three?
My fashion is inspired by my nightclub job so there’s a bit of bling mixed with farmyard chic. When choosing my clothes, I look for practicality, durability and easy-access.
What’s a typical day-in-the-life of Lady Frakassat?
I wake up when my eyes open, I then check on Jack to make sure he stays out of trouble (which takes up most of the day), traipse around the village looking for Mr Right or Mr Rightnow, and then go to work and repeat.
What three things would you take with you on a desert island?
A good brush (I have wildly unmanageable hair), our cow (for milk and company) and the Brexit report (to help me sleep).
What are you hoping for this Christmas?
That my Jack won’t get into any more trouble… but I would also like a waistline and everlasting true love. Oh, and a few mince pies wouldn’t go amiss.
Without giving anything away, what’s your favourite line of dialogue?
I can’t say because it’s been cut. We suddenly remembered there’ll be children watching.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdinck and Freddie Portelli (I obviously have a type).
What piece of advice would you give to your audiences?
Sit up, switch your phones off, participate, don’t be late, relax and have fun. It’s not Shakespeare guys.
Which dame would win in a fight?
Well, I know Nanna Kola is physically bigger than me so it depends what kind of fight we get into. To be honest I have more pressing things to worry about right now than getting into cat-fights. My rent has gone up again this month and that son of mine is always surprising me with a new problem.
Jack and the Beanstalk will be performed at MFCC Ta’ Qali at 7.30pm on December 23; December 26 till 30 December; and January 3 to 5.
This article first appeared in the Sunday Circle magazine.