Although she may have spent some of her life looking up at everyone else, Nanna Kola – the dame in FM Theatre’s panto at the beautiful Teatru Manoel – is not to be messed with. This merry lady is nanny to Sleeping Beauty herself, the lovely Aurora. She’s sweet and lovely… but don’t cross her! She will do absolutely anything to protect her charge from danger and, frankly, we’re a little worried that that might involve sitting on you…

Nanna Kola, whose Christmas panto will be the best this year?

Ajma mhux ovvja, qalbi... the one that people enjoy most! Heqqq!

Edward Mercieca as Nanna Kola. Photos: Justin Mamo

What three words best describe you, Nan?

Big, brash and busty.

Who is your role model?

Queen Latifa, Dolly Parton and Mae West. I want to be exactly like them. On the flip side, I absolutely don’t want to be like any Maltese politicians. I want to be their exact opposite! Jaaaq x’initiena!

What can each of you do that the other dames cannot?

Weigh 115kilos in my birthday suit!

Which of you three is the best-dressed?

I have to admit it’s probably one of the other two. I am just a humble werker – although my clothes are amazingly colourful, tasteless and garish. I have to admit der is nuttink posh about me!

If music be the food of love, play on! Also, someone said that it’s like eating pizza, and I love pizza

What’s a typical day-in-the-life of Nanna Kola?

Faċendi biss, qalbi, dejjem bil-cutex mqaxxar cos I do the hawswerk. And, of course, I look after our little princess Aurora.

What three things would you take with you on a desert island? 

A man, another man and a favourite toy of mine which works on solar powered batteries! You know what Shakespeare said: “If music be the food of love, play on!” and I love playing. Also someone also said that it’s like eating pizza, and I love pizza!

What are you hoping for this Christmas? 

A man, another man and a special toy that works on solar powered batteries.

Without giving anything away, what’s your favourite line of dialogue?

Immorru Lew!

Who are your celebrity crushes?

Adrian Muscat and Joseph Delia.

What piece of advice would you give to your audiences? 

Enjoy life, take care of the environment and never, but never, suffer fools gladly, tajjeb hekk? Jew as de hippies used to say, peace, love and rock n roll, baby!

Who would win in a fight?

You mean fiżikal, like Olivia-Puked-on-John? U ajma what sort of stupid question is dett, all I have to do is naqbeż fuq il-kaxxa ta sidru... il-lummy, lanqas he will get up! Now darling daqshekk, għax I have to go and make myself beautiful and that takes about 31.764 hours. Ciao għal issa. Hugs and many oscillations! 

FM Theatre Productions presents Sleeping Beauty at the Teatru Manoel, Valletta, on December 23; December 26 to 30 and January 2 to 6.

www.teatrumanoel.com.mt

This article first appeared in the Sunday Circle magazine.