Increased alcohol intake, late nights and crowded social occasions lead to a spike in sexual assault cases over the Christmas period. Director of Victim Support Malta Krista Tabone gives Maureen Saguna some timely advice about how best to keep ourselves safe.

When we think of Christmas time, images of twinkling lights, gift-giving and all-round cheer come to mind, but it is also a fact that party season is a time when personal safety can be particularly under threat. The increase in socialising and alcohol consumption means that, every year, there is also an increase in crimes like rape and sexual assault during this period.

I meet with Krista Tabone, director of Victim Support Malta (VSM), to discuss ways to keep safe during the upcoming festivities. VSM is an NGO that offers support to victims of all crime, but they specialise in supporting victims of crimes of a sexual nature, so I was curious to learn from an expert in the area how to keep myself and my daughters as safe as possible.

Krista kicks off the session by stating that the victim is never responsible for an attack, no matter how flirty, scantily-dressed or intoxicated they are. Responsibility always lies with the attacker, which is easy to forget when society has a tendency to blame the victim instead of focusing on the perpetrator.

If you feel like you might be in danger, scream, wave your arms, attract as much attention to yourself as you can

This, of course, does not mean that we should not do our utmost to take precautions and to maximise our safety. Her first suggestion is to use one of the many ‘safety’ applications that are available for download on mobile phones. The one Krista uses enables her to send her location to a chosen friend, and it can even sound a siren from her phone while messaging a chosen contact asking for help. Remember that an app is of little use if your phone is not charged, so making sure it is always charged is also very important.

Another crucial thing to keep in mind is that there is strength in numbers, and being with one or more friends is likely to present a deterrent against assault. Moreover, if you are at a party and feel threatened by someone, move closer to an exit or phone someone. Finally, if all else fails and you have no other option, make a fuss. If you feel like you might be in danger, make noise. Scream, wave your arms, attract as much attention to yourself as you can. Attention is the last thing a potential perpetrator wants.

What about helping others who might be in danger? Apart from sticking together at parties and events, the single most important tip Krista believes in is not being afraid to speak up. She says that, unfortunately, here in Malta, we prefer not to interfere in situations that don’t concern us, prefering to be discreet. This is obviously something that Krista and her team feel strongly about, and she makes a point to repeat it to me many times. She insists that, if people do notice someone in a situation which might become dangerous, keeping in mind the CARE system as acronym is of help. 

The word represents four simple steps that could prevent someone from being assaulted. C stands for Create a distraction; A is Ask the person if they are okay; R stands for Refer to authorities, be it the police or the management of the place; and E is for Enlist the help of others, like your friends, the friends of the potential perpetrator or that of other bystanders. 

If the unthinkable does happen and the crime has been committed, time is of the essence. The first thing to do is to get to a safe place. It is also a priority that the victim gets to hospital as quickly as possible, without eating, drinking, relieving themselves or cleaning themselves in any way. Once at the hospital, the victim will be given a check up and, should they want to press charges against their aggressor, the police will then get involved. Victims are entitled to all the help they might need, including medical, legal and psychological support.

That being said, being assaulted while out at a party is not the only or the most common type of sexual aggression. Many are repeatedly assaulted by their own partner, and some even by a colleague or a relative. Krista explains that many who are assaulted by someone close to them are manipulated by the perpetrator into feeling guilty or responsible for the latter’s well-being or feelings. It is common for these victims to be led to believe that their aggressor will hurt himself or commit suicide if they do not comply to his requests. Some are also made to feel guilty, feeling that they must obey their aggressor if they truly love him. 

The victim is never responsible for an attack, no matter how flirty, scantily-dressed or intoxicated they are

One of the most important things to remember is that everyone has a right to change their mind, even if they previously agreed to a sexual act. It is their right to change their mind and ask for the other person to stop. Krista feels that this is one of the most vital points we need teach our children and that they need to be better educated as to what is acceptable and what is not. She explains that a talk by an NGO once a year will not cement the necessary information in a child’s brain – repetition is key.

There is more safety in numbers – try not to end up walking alone after a night out. Photos: Shutterstock.com

As for VSM, the victims they help vary from those blacking out on a night out and waking up naked in an unfamiliar place, to victims of child abuse seeking psychological support after years of keeping it a secret. When asked why it takes some victims decades to speak up, Krista says that the most common reasons tend to be shame, guilt feelings and fear. The fact that society tends to point the finger at the victim’s behaviour or clothing, rather than the aggressor’s actions, certainly doesn’t help.

I am surprised to learn that VSM get as many as 30 new cases each year, but Krista reminds me that the number is conservative. Contrary to what most believe, the majority of perpetrators are people the victim knows, but most of the victims who seek help from VSM have been assaulted by strangers or acquaintances. That means that there are many other cases, namely of victims of family members, friends or a partner, which go unreported.

It would be tempting to feel like nowhere is safe or, conversely, throw all caution to the wind thinking that these things would never happen to us. However, sexual assault has always existed and probably always will. So, charge your phone, download an app, stick to a friend and don’t be afraid to scream at the top of your lungs if you feel threatened. If it turns out that your gut instinct was wrong, blame the excitement of the holiday season. Better be safe than sorry. 

Victim Support Malta provides free social work services, psychological services, legal representation/consultation and liaison with hospital and the police support and to victims of sexual assault and rape. The team is on call 24/7 and can be reached by calling Mater Dei Hospital.

This feature was published in the December issue of Circle magazine