It was so nice for all of us to indulge Jason Micallef’s penchant for self-promotion throughout this year. The show being so bemusing, it shouldn’t end now; it must go on.
I propose that every year, Valletta should be designated European capital of something. Then we can have Jason Micallef (dis)gracing our television sets for many years. And with him, Owen Bonnici and his inanities; they make a lovely duo.
You see, Micallef really has some cheek. Just accepting to lead Valletta 2018 was sheer effrontery. He had nothing to do with the hard work that was needed to make Valletta a European capital. And he has nothing at all to do with culture.
The designation by the European Union in 2012 of Valletta as European Capital of Culture for 2018 was only a final step in a long journey which started in 1987.
Nationalist governments that encouraged investment in culture developed the vision to turn our capital into a truly European capital, a microcosm of what Malta and Gozo had to become: an important part of our European future.
While Jason Micallef was peddling ‘partnership’ in Labour’s media and running down the City Gate project and new Parliament building, Nationalist governments were rehabilitating the Co-Cathedral, the National Library, countless palaces, auberges, churches, fortifications, bastions, streets and squares.
St James Cavalier, the new Stock Exchange, the Siege Bell Memorial, the Cruise Liner Terminal and the Valletta Waterfront were no matters of admiration for Jason Micallef or Owen Bonnici.
The creation of the Valletta 2018 Foundation in 2011, the bid submitted in October 2011 and the presentation to the European Union in September 2012 were subsequent crucial steps taken by the committee of the Valletta 2018 Foundation headed by David Felice.
Now you enter Valletta with groups of cruise liner visitors admiring our own Renzo Piano project.
Were it for Labour, we would still have a car park in ‘Freedom Square’. And even after inheriting the new Parliament building, Prime Minister Joseph Muscat went to Renzo Piano’s atelier to tell him that, instead of the Parliament Piano planned, we would have a show hall. Thankfully, Renzo Piano told Muscat exactly where to put Labour’s ideas.
The City of Valletta may well be named Hearn ville, and City Gate, Till gate
But let us now keep the show running. Valletta under Labour can be European capital of many things. Let’s make her, for example, European capital of Bribery and Money Laundering. At least, then, Labour would be truly celebrating the fruits of its labour.
Countless exhibitions and talks can be organised about secret companies. On the 17th of every month, we can all wear black; that would go a long way to engage the public. The City of Valletta may well be named Hearn ville, and City Gate, Till gate.
Karl Cini’s dancing prowess will come in handy. Brian Tonna will certainly get a consultancy or two. And he will be on all sides of all ‘negotiating’ tables. He can get paid by applying for an E grant.
Valletta can be twinned with Panama City. That would make for some nice trips for Jason Micallef. Why not Wellington in New Zealand too? Konrad Mizzi will oblige with Air Malta flights.
He will remember his New Zealand lamb for Easter 2016. And Micallef can experience Rotorua, a cool hotspot, they describe it. Dubai would make it three; it’s certainly not refined, but banking services there are up to scratch, no questions asked. Baku may well be a fourth. So many twinnings to look forward to.
Budget, you say? Don’t worry about the cost; it can all be done for €92. The bill might go up to €150,000 a month times two, but it won’t be for 18 years, so it won’t come to €64,800,000. That huge sum is for lining pockets, not for celebrating Valletta.
We can apply to get Pilatus Bank from Ta’ Xbiex to Valletta, as close as possible to the Auberge de Castille. A special permit from the European Central Bank will be needed. We can also have a mini-prison in Valletta.
Then we can get the Prime Minister’s close friend, Ali Sadr, from the USto spend the rest of his days in theEuropean Capital of Bribery and Money Laundering.
Always in a cell; a gilded one, tobe sure, but always a cell, we can assure the FBI.
Ali Sadr can have special visits from his wedding guests, Joseph Muscat and Michelle. They can reminisce about the wonderful wedding in Florence. And the ties of friendship that led to an oh-so-natural invitation.
So many years we can have for Valletta as European capital, of useless and expensive power stations, for example. European Capital of Gas; but that won’t be too grand a name.
European Capital of Journalist’s Rights. Yes, that would certainly fit Jason Micallef and his many kind comments about Daphne Caruana Galizia throughout this year. Valletta’s twin city would certainly attend this time.
European Capital of Erasure? It won’t really catch people’s imagination, and people would think it’s about the 1980s duo. But that’s exactly what’s happening around the Great Siege Monument: Jason Micallef trying to erase Daphne Caruana Galizia’s memory.
The show should go on. Otherwise,how could we cope without Jason Micallef’s culture?
eddieaquilina1951@gmail.com
This is a Times of Malta print opinion piece