“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candour and more unashamed conversation about illnesses that affect not only individuals but families.” Christa Formosa cited this quote from author Glenn Close but then added the very last sentence of her BA Honours thesis with her parting shot: “So, in fine, more general openness on the subject of mental health challenges is recommended.”

Christmas is a time of warm messages, of presence and of union. We all miss Christa, who, unfortunately, passed away after an accident last March, barely four months after she graduated.

But this is a time to listen to her sunny message. Being her dissertation supervisor, I know she was not given to big words, so I was not surprised she borrowed Glenn Close’s words to make her point. However, Christa carried around much sunlight, being lively, courteous and respectful with everybody, well-organised and vigorous in her work and very committed to her aspiration to become an open-hearted social worker.

She left many warm messages with the many people who got to know her. But let’s now give a voice to the message that comes from her thesis.

We rarely have to tell students that their thesis subject ought to be one that is close to their heart.

Christa explains that she has long been intrigued by the stories of children who, in their childhood, lived with parents who were facing the challenges of mental illness. We all dream of childhood as a period of life where others do the worrying for us. But she studied childhoods where parent’s mental health problems made this difficult.

She interviewed a handful of adults who could speak about such a childhood – either their own, in the past, or, in the case of adults with a spouse with mental health problems, their children’s experience in the present. They warmly opened up to her about their life. One can understand why her parting shot was that understanding and accepting hearts should not be an exception but the rule with such people.

Christa passed away after an accident last March, barely four months after she graduated

Stigma and bullying at school was recounted by some interviewees, luckily a minority. Without giving us percentages, her interviews do give us a taste of such children’s experiences.

When parents stop working, children can face dire financial problems, though there is admiration for the ill parent still managing money or parental roles effectively in spite of problems.

Still, some interviewees missed their parents’ guiding hand. Often, but not always, the other parent, a grandmother or an aunt stepped into the breach, whether for short or long periods. However, lack of parental good health or presence, support or guidance also brought frustration and confusion, shame or hurt.

A majority of the grown children Christa met had to take responsibility and to mature earlier than is usual for children and generally looked back on this with pride and satisfaction. But she adds that these were the lucky ones, since not all manage to react so positively.

Three things, she noted, make much difference: acceptance, community support and good services. Children who manage to accept their parents and their problems do much better. Acceptance by schoolmates, neighbours, passers-by, the public, makes self-acceptance much easier.

Support by professionals and the services can make a vast difference.

Most interviewees found that little or insufficient attention was given specifically to the children. Still, the adults appreciated all the professional help they got. Unfortunately, the families themselves often did not seek help, signalling the need of work to inspire trust in the available help.

Christmas is a season of unity, acceptance and presence. So, it is worth listening to Christa’s voice and to respond to her sunny presence as she urges these children and their families, those who meet them in daily life and those providing service to do all we can in a true Christmas spirit that remains open, practical and sunny all the year round.

Charles Pace is a senior visiting lecturer at the University of Malta’s Department of Social Policy and Social Work.

This is a Times of Malta print opinion piece

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