This last week brought with it a photo of an ever youthful-looking Jennifer Lopez wearing one of the worst trends to come out of the noughties: thongs pulled high above low-rise trousers. They were a travesty then and if there were one ghost which shouldn’t have been resurrected from the land of double denim paired with pointlessly wide belts, it was most certainly that one. Here are a few more sartorial trends that definitely need to stay in the past.

Designer velour tracksuits: Coming in every colour of the rainbow, Juicy Couture tracksuits were all the rage in the noughties and everyone from Paris Hilton to her dog had one. Coupled with candy-coloured sunglasses and shiny, sticky lipgloss, they were the It-girl staple and made going out looking like a slobby towel rack socially acceptable.

I was not only glad to see the back of them but I was certain that they wouldn’t be making a comeback in my lifetime. I was wrong. Not only did Vetements decide to send a model down the catwalk in one in 2016 but once Kylie Jenner wore one a short time later, I knew we were done for. Here’s hoping the diamante-encrusted ball will stop rolling on this one.

I was certain that they wouldn’t be making a comeback in my lifetime. I was wrong

Cargo pants: Loved by fishermen and hunters alike for their multitude of pockets, the cargo pants were worn by every single noughties girl and aspiring boy band member (usually with tiny crop tops). Not only are these trousers vastly unflattering but like the aforementioned tracksuit, they also had a habit of making everyone look really sloppy. It was literally as if everyone was going on a camping trip that they were infinitely ill-prepared for, and while we are at it, who on earth needs that many pockets?

Short ruffled skirts: Making everyone look like an extra in a third-rate burlesque revue, these skirts could be found in every single fabric under the sun and meant that every woman on the planet spent half the noughties flashing her bum cheeks to whoever happened to be walking behind her. The satin ones were particularly horrendous. I don’t know who thought this one was a good idea, but the Moulin Rouge called and they want their costumes back.

Knitted ponchos: Always warn with bootcut jeans (the long ones that drag along the floor and collect every piece of dirt in the world in the summer and are perpetually wet in winter), these shapeless knitted tablecloths looked like something your grandma might knit for a tea cosy. Coming in a variety of colours and many times also worn with a matching skull cap hat, they were guaranteed not only to keep the cold at bay but everyone else who had a vague sense of style.