When Peter* received the news that he was going to become a father again in his late 40s, he called the national helpline to inquire about an abortion.

Both the man and his partner, who were separated and had older children of their own, saw no other way out of the disapproval of those around them.

The man who answered the call had been volunteering for some 14 years and knew he could not provide support about something that is still illegal in Malta.

“The only way I could provide support was to listen to him.

“Peter had no idea how he could face his children, whom he had warned several times against unplanned pregnancy. But as he let it all out, he realised that there were other ways to handle the situation rather than basing his decision on the reaction he expected from his relatives,” the volunteer, whose name must remain confidential, told The Sunday Times of Malta.

Peter had not even thought of the idea of giving up the child for adoption.

“I didn’t do anything special – I just walked him through his available options and by the end of the call his thoughts were clearer.”

Throughout the past years, he has answered phone calls about all kinds of issues from all ages, even as young as 13.

One such call started with a girl who poured out her frustrations about her mother, whom she felt was placing too many restrictions on her free time, computer use and attire among others.

“For the first 10 minutes I could not get a word in, as the child was very angry at her mother, calling her names and using very harsh expletives. I allowed her to vent her frustration. However, I then challenged her to say positive things about her mother.”

This calmed her down as she realised that there were several things that she was taking for granted. The phone conversation ended with the girl agreeing to hug her mother that same night, and the volunteer referring her to reconciliation services.

The knowledge that people like this girl would go to sleep in a calmer state than before placing the 179 call is one of those things that has kept the man volunteering for the past 14 years.

“When I rest my head on the pillow at night I know I might have left some kind of impact on someone’s life. I would not have changed the world but knowing you made a small difference in someone’s life is satisfactory and keeps you going.”

Although at times, thoughts about the callers linger in his mind all day, he tells this newspaper that while learning to walk in their shoes, in order to empathise with them, he does not take away their shoes.

You have to learn to walk in their shoes but you cannot take away their shoes

“If you did that, you would fill a whole wardrobe with other people’s shoes and have no space left for your own.”

While there is a growing number of calls about relationship issues, loneliness is also on the increase among the callers.

Solitude afflicts people of all ages and is not limited to the elderly. There are parents who dial 179 once their children and spouses leave the house to go to school and work.

Several admit over the phone that they have no one to speak to, despite being surrounded by people. Life is sometimes so fast-paced that most of us overlook lonely people and we do not realise that our own schoolmates or colleagues are suffering from solitude.

It is often difficult to refer lonely people to services where they can find support, as they cut themselves off from the rest of the world and feel safe only at home.

Service Area Leader Svetlana Buttigieg said that some of the callers are already seeing psychiatrists and social workers, and some find comfort in calling 179 if they have not kept their appointment.

The volunteer added that some have been calling for years: “We do not consider these calls a hopeless case, even when, year in year out, they say they have had enough and want to end their life.

“During the call, we focus on their progress, such as going out for a walk, making their own lunch or dinner, or going to the chemist to buy medicine. We flag such achievements, which some take for granted, because they encourage them to move on.”

Ms Buttigieg said the responders have been trained to carry out an assessment over the phone, where, through a series of questions, they can understand whether the callers are at a low, medium or high risk of resorting to suicide. This helps them understand whether they need to send help and what kind of help is required.

Financial issues are also prevalent among callers.

Sometimes, following their 179 call, people seek private support to treat their issue, however they then develop a financial one. So while they resolve one issue, such as stress at work, they suddenly have to face financial stress.

“There have been callers who have had to stop treatment as they can no longer afford the service. Others told me that they had to start a part-time job in order to receive psychological treatment for their current stress, meaning they actually increased their stress.”

Financial issues could also lead to homelessness, which Ms Buttigieg says is an increasing reality.

“Recently I spoke over the phone with an elderly man who is fully independent. He separated from his wife and moved into a new place.

“His pension currently covers his rent, however his landlord has informed him that the rent will soon increase, and he is scared that he might end up homeless if he is put on a residential home waiting list.”

*name has been changed

The 179 helpline needs volunteers

The national helpline service survives on volunteers whose numbers, however, have been in decline. So the authorities have stepped in to provide a lifeline.

Service Area Leader Svetlana Buttigieg told The Sunday Times of Malta that a number of full-timers will soon be employed by the agency to answer calls made on the 179 helpline, however, the 24/7 service depended also on volunteers.

Both volunteers and full-timers receive intensive training that allows them to empathise with the callers and refer them to professionals, but at the same time take care of their own mental wellbeing, she added.

The helpline offers information about local social welfare services and other agencies, and lends an ear to people in times of difficulty or crisis.

It provides support to callers of any age facing a range of situations, including child abuse, domestic violence, homelessness, marital or family problems, loneliness, emotional difficulties, behavioural problems, depression and other mental health issues.

A total of 8,895 telephone calls were made to the helpline in 2017, of which 2,243 were related to mental health.

Those interested in lending a helping hand can call Appoġġ on 2295 9000 or log on to https://fsws.gov.mt to apply as a volunteer.