Our sociologists often remark that we live in a matriarchal society where mothers are often in control of the strings of the family purse. But our mothers’ skills go beyond financial management as they are frequently also the main strategists for their children’s education. There are, of course, as many profiles of mothers as there are mothers, even if the brigade of Tiger  Mothers is on the rise.

Tiger Mothers have been defined as those who recommend tough love, hard work and minimal play to their children. This profile is probably no more than a caricature, but it conveys a clear image of mothers who rather than pamper their children, invest in their education in ways that some may consider unreasonable.

A recent survey conducted by insurers Aviva in the UK has found that a quarter of mothers with school-age children spend an average of €500 every year on boosting the academic, musical or sporting achievements of their children. While I am not aware of any local official reports that quantify what our families spend on private tuition for their children, I would be astonished if our Tiger Mothers are any less keen on promoting the educational success of their children.

It is easy to be judgemental about the implications of this phenomenon, primarily since the local educational debate is dominated by the opinions of liberal educators. These educators keep telling us that education should be an enjoyable experience for our students and that academic success and the acquisition of skills that help employability are not the ultimate aims of learning.

Most of us know of examples how these same academics often follow the pattern  of other families who are prepared to spend good money to give their children a private education that is often perceived as being more successful in guaranteeing academic success.

Understanding the reason behind the Tiger Mothers’ zeal for boosting their children’s academic achievement is not straightforward. My experience tells me that snobbery is not as critical a factor as many seem to think.

My experience tells me that snobbery is not as critical a factor as many seem to think

It is a natural desire for parents to want their children to be better educated than they are. In the current tough economic  climate one hardly needs to insist that without a high level of educational achievement it will be difficult for a young person to find the kind of job that one associates with a high quality of life.

Peer pressure is, of course, an essential stimulus for Tiger Mothers. The Aviva survey found that 63 per cent of parents of children under 18 say that they encounter competition from other mums and dads to spending money on private tutoring. So, keeping up with the Joneses is still a certain trait that influences the behaviour of most parents.

The American academic Bryan Caplan found that many busy parents are racked with guilt over how much time they can devote to their children. So they often end up pushing their children to achieve the highest level of success in whatever activity they feel they excel. This trend goes beyond educational activities and can range from developing sporting talents to improving physical appearance.

We only go through the phase of parenting once in our lives, and the mastering of parenting skills is possibly one of the most challenging experiences we go through.

Our childhood environment often  influences our style of parenting. Parents who may not have had the chance to get a University education often move from lauding the merits of having been through the ‘University of Life’ to being obsessive about their children having an academic education in physical universities.

Allison Mitchell, author of The Manic Mum’s Guide to Magnificent Parenting warns against the risks of pushing young people too hard. She says: ‘While it’s great to encourage our children to be the best they can be, it’s important not to put too much pressure on them.’ It is so sad to hear about cases of students who drive themselves to insanity or even to commit suicide just because their exam results do not meet their own or their parents’ expectations.

Striking the right balance in the effort parents put into their children’s education is essential for the wellbeing of our society. For many Tiger Mothers, this may mean that they need to relax a little more because their efforts to push their children have little or no positive effect on them in later life.

johncassarwhite@yahoo.com