When we fix our eyes on Our Lady of Sorrows, during this holy week, we see a woman who is suffering precisely because she is a mother. Mary would not be suffering if she is not carrying in her arms the lifeless body of her son Jesus.

It is true that it was the Jews who killed Christ who were the cause of her sorrow; but the real reason why Mary is tortured by sorrow is because the limp flesh that lies in her arms is her own flesh. There were others who were deeply wounded when they saw Christ suffering, the disciples, Jesus’s friends, but Mary’s suffering is altogether unique because it is the suffering of a mother. The suffering of Mary is the price she paid for her motherhood.

As Victor Hugo said: “There is no consolation for that mother who suffers. Maternity has neither limits nor reason. The mother is sublime because motherhood is an instinct.”

This reminds me of Rachel, Jacob’s wife. When she could not conceive, she became jealous of her sister and turned on Jacob, saying “Give me children or I shall die” (Gen 30:1). Luther comments thus about this passage: “I do not think I ever read anything that resembles this story. Rachel was so desirous of having children that she preferred to die rather than remain sterile” (In Genesim enarrationes).

God heard Rachel’s prayer and after the birth of Joseph she became pregnant again but had such a difficult delivery that she chose to die so that Benjamin would live. Interpreting this event, the prophet Jeremiah says: “A voice was heard in Rama, sobbing and weeping full of bitterness, Rachel crying for her children, she will not have consolation because they are no more” (31:15).

Here Rachel represents those sorrowful mothers weeping for their children who are somehow dead because they have been taken into exile – they are no more!  Matthew, the evangelist, also refers to the distressed moan  of Rachel to explain the sorrow of those mothers who lost their children when Herod sent soldiers to Bethlehem to kill all boys under two years of age hoping thus to eliminate the child Jesus (Mt 2:16-18).

 In these three episodes where the Bible relates how these mothers’ hearts were inconsolable we come to understand how profound the sorrow of a mother who loses any of her children is. In the tragedy of loss of offspring, no words or gestures can console the mother; our words can never heal that wound, because a mother’s sorrow is proportionate to the love that binds the mother to her child.

We can apply all this to Our Lady. John the Evangelist says nothing regarding the interior feelings of Mary, nor does he mention whether she cried when the corpse of Jesus was brought down and placed in her arms. In a certain sense, St. Ambrose was right when he said: “In the Gospel, I read that Mary was there, but I did not find that she wept.” But if we say that Mary did not cry because she was impassible, we would be elevating her to angelic status and, at the same time, depriving her of her humanity! In the Stabat Mater hymn we find that “she stood mournful”. As a result of her maternal status, Mary not only wept but, I suppose, like Rachel, she uttered: “I am inconsolable, because my Son is no more!”

Therefore, I cannot but listen to those mothers who like Rachel, like the mothers of those who were taken into exile, like the mothers whose babies Herod murdered, like Our Lady of Sorrows, are today suffering the loss of their children:

Today it is possible for a uterus to be rented. This is nothing but a capitalist phenomenon or reproductive prostitution

To those burying one of their offspring who died of a severe illness; whose son went out and did not return because he died in a traffic accident; whose son or daughter died of a drug overdose; who lost the baby in a natural miscarriage; who mentally blinded, removed their baby from their womb, and now nothing and nobody can console them; to the mothers in Syria who are seeing their children dying under the bombs; to the mothers in Africa whose children are drowning in the Mediterranean in search of a better future; above all, to those women who has undergone a  medical intervention to  suppress their maternal function and are now regretful because they cannot recover their loss.

Every mother remains linked to her son or daughter by her umbilical cord, even if the cord is physically cut. The cord remains binding even if the offspring dies and is no more. The natural bond between a mother and her children confirms that motherhood is a gift of great beauty. Once a woman becomes a mother, she remains a mother forever.

As Pope Francis wrote: “Mothers are the best antidote to the spread of egoistic individualism… It is they that give us witness to the beauty of life. There is no doubt that a society without mothers would be unhuman, because mothers know how to give witness always, even in the worst moments, with their sweetness, with their dedication, with the moral fibre they possess.

“Mothers often transmit also the most profound sense of religious practice: in the first prayers, in the first gestures of devotion that a child learns… Without the mothers, there would not be new faithful, and the faith would lose a considerable part of its simple and strong warmth… Dear mothers, thank you, thank you for all that you are in the family and for what you give to the Church and the world”  (The Joy of Love, 174).

One appreciates that fertility and maternity are values which are at the heart of our society. We are also very much aware that an anti-human culture is threatening to overcome us and therefore we need to keep these values alive and take great care of them, particularly when we sometimes hear that motherhood could be an obstacle for a woman to assert herself. There is a suspicion of narcissism in those who say that maternity is an attempt against the female gender. Women who want to advance their dignity would do well to be careful not to be the ones to eliminate motherhood.

Motherhood is a feminine vocation, and if we want to make choices in women’s favour, we must help women satisfy their desires. As Pope St. John Paul II says “the psycho-physical constitution of the woman has the natural disposition toward motherhood, for the conception, the pregnancy and the birth of the child” (Mulieres dignitataem, 18). Therefore it is a holy desire that, like Rachel, a married woman looks forward to bring forth offspring. This needs to be assisted in respect of ethical and moral principles. Motherhood has a social value and therefore it is right for fertility to form part of our political and educational policy.

Maternity is a totally personal matter and is priceless. It is truly offensive to woman’s dignity when today people talk about “hired pregnancy” or “surrogate pregnancy”.  With the excuse that a man or a woman wishes to have a child, today it is possible for a uterus to be rented. This is nothing but a capitalist phenomenon or reproductive prostitution.

Apart from this, mothering is not an exclusive biological reality, but it expresses itself in different ways, such as adoption and fostering. “Adoption is an act of love that gives a family to someone who does not have one. It is important to insist that legislation facilitates adoption procedures, above all in cases of unwanted children, to protect them from abortion and abandonment” (The joy of love, 178).

Another important aspect of this project in favour of women and life is that we must not be slaves to a culture of calculation. We must expand the culture of gift or of generosity. Very often, egoism drives man and society to be miserly with life. Social measures offered to the parents of a child are not some compensation for the fact that they are mothers/fathers, but are an act of social justice toward maternity and paternity.

Therefore, as we contemplate Our Lady of Sorrows in this special moment of her maternal vocation, let us listen to what God says to Rachel: “Keep your voice far from weeping, your eyes away from tears, because there is payment for your labours…There is hope for the future” (31:16). Let the mothers’ tears touch God’s heart to bring back the children from exile. May Mary’s tears and sorrow be a prayer in front of Jesus crucified and in front of the world, so that as a nation we continue to value the gift of motherhood, the spring of human life.

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