Caritas Malta director Leonid McKay. PhotoS: Matthew Mirabelli

Some of those who turn up for lunch at Dar il-Hena’s emergency shelters might be able to afford a meal but they have no one else to share it with.

Such people were suffering from a growing reality that was the worst form of punishment for humans: solitude, the director of Caritas Malta, Leonid McKay said.

Loneliness, as a social policy issue, was very lonely and Caritas Malta was committed to look into it in the New Year, he promised.

Both Dar Papa Franġisku and Dar Maria Dolores, in Birkirkara, are run by the Dar il-Hena Foundation, a collaboration between the government, the Church, and Alfred Mizzi Foundation.

Being emergency shelters means that, in principle, they provide a bed for the night for those who suddenly find themselves homeless. The person in distress can then be referred for support the following day.

Those seeking shelter face different realities, such as mental health issues and substance abuse or being unable to keep up with the rent.

Mr McKay said sudden homelessness could be the result of domestic violence, a sudden hike in rents and being kicked out of home by parents or partners.

READ: 440 turn up for Curia Christmas lunch

However, he added, over the past months it was realised that solitude was also driving people to the shelter during lunchtime, where they could share a meal – or a word – with someone else.

Social isolation was a gradual process that started internationally a couple of decades ago, he noted. The factors that fed into solitude included changing demographics because of an ageing population and the social transformation of the family. While, in the past, extended families provided a caring role, relatives were nowadays more distanced, not just geographically but also relationship wise.

A third factor – the international economic aspect – had seen a move towards a more individualistic, competitive society, driven by neo-liberal values, Mr McKay pointed out, noting that this had resulted in brittle social bonds.

Loneliness was also one of the reasons that drove people to Caritas Malta’s annual Christmas meal last week.

“When people called us to let us know they will be turning up for the meal, some of them with tears in their eyes, we could hear the radio on in the background. Others had a pet. These are all efforts to fight solitude,” he said.

The Christmas meal was first held in 2015 as lunch for a group of 35 homeless drug users who had no one else to spend Christmas with. This year, 440 (including volunteers) attended, all having different reasons: some could not afford a meal, others were homeless, while the majority had no one else to share Christmas lunch with.

One person turned up for the meal with a donation in hand, noting that although she could afford to eat wherever she wanted to, she had no one to join her at the table.

Recent data by the Charities Aid Foundation shows that although three-quarters of the Maltese donate money only a fourth volunteer their time.

Any volunteers who would like to lend a hand at the shelters can call on 2788 8211. More information via info@caritasmalta.org.

“I was not expecting to meet so many people who are on their own.”

Christmas lunch that soothed a volunteer’s sorrow

Calling up Caritas to lend a helping hand during the Christmas lunch was Petra’s first step to free herself from solitude.

At the end of 2016, the 36-year-old decided she should spend a different kind of Christmas and enlisted as a volunteer for the following year’s lunch.

“I wanted to be there to give my support but I also wanted to give a different meaning to my Christmas. For the past few years, this festive season has been a materialistic one, which was eliciting sorrow, instead of joy,” she recalled.

Petra soon realised that the volunteering experience did not only benefit those who received the support but also those who provided help.

“I was not expecting to meet so many people who are literally on their own. Some time ago, I myself went through a separation and, although I have a loving and respectful family, the onset of Christmas has since brought with it a sense of sorrow,” she said.

Last year, she had been invited, together with her children, to her parents’ house but, still, she admitted she felt a sense of void. All she could think of were the most joyous past Christmas experiences – something that she felt was no longer possible.

As this year her children spent Christmas with their father, she decided to do something different.

“I was sure that as much as I would help I would also receive a lot in return. And that is exactly what happened. As I listened to the stories that the others shared during the meal, I realised that my life had to go on… I cannot ignore the fact that I’m surrounded by so many people who love and respect me and that I am not alone.” What would she tell others who were also suffering from solitude?

“I didn’t feel comfortable turning up for the lunch as a guest because, on the outside, I don’t actually look lonely. But I do feel lonely a lot of the time. Making that call to volunteer some of my time was the first step to free myself from the overshadowing sorrow.”

Petra said the joy she experienced during the meal remained throughout the past days and she still held dear the experiences others shared with her.

“I urge all those who have never tried out this volunteering experience to give it a go. Although difficult at first, once you decide to never look back, you will start looking at life through a more colourful lens,” Petra said.

*Name was changed.