One hundred cases of children abusing their parents have been reported in the past two years, Family Minister Michael Falzon said this week.
Aged between 13 and 17, the abusers were mainly boys who came from broken family backgrounds or domestic violence, as revealed in a seminar, ‘Child-to-Parent Violence and Children Witnessing Violence’.
“These kids grow up seeing their mothers being abused by their fathers and think that type of behaviour is acceptable,” said Roberta Agius, services manager on domestic violence and child protection at Aġenzija Appoġġ.
Arlene Vetere, a professor from Surrey University, said that being brought up in a violent environment reduced restraint and increased arousal to aggressive situations. Children thus became desensitised to violence.
Foundation for Social Welfare Services CEO Alfred Grixti, a former headmaster, recounted experiences of witnessing child-on-parent violence at school. He once saw a student become verbally abusive towards his mother, who had agreed with the school’s decision to confiscate his phone in class.
“He would have probably become physically abusive towards his mother had we not intervened,” Mr Grixti remarked.
Mothers were much more likely to be physically abused than fathers, he noted.
Parents know they should report abuse to the police but fear it will reflect badly upon their own parenting
Mothers were often too scared to come forward, fearing victim blaming and shaming.
Malta’s close-knit culture meant that mothers who were survivors of husband-wife domestic abuse were forced to remain silent about family matters and subsequent abuse from their children, Dr Agius said.
The phenomenon, known as the double bind, occurs when the members of a family receive conflicting messages from the people around them. Parents know they should report abusive behaviour to the police but fear it will reflect badly upon their own parenting, she continued.
“Would you want to send your children to prison?” Dr Agius asked.
“It’s a very difficult choice to make.”
She recounted cases of parents threatened into financing their child’s drug addiction.
“Boys as young as 15 use knives to threaten their parents,” Dr Agius said.
The abuse was gender-based and violent, according to Appoġġ’s operations director, Ruth Sciberras.
Young boys felt that they could hurt their mothers after witnessing the abuse perpetrated by their fathers, she noted.
Some also got the impression that hitting women was an acceptable behaviour.
Male and female facilitators now supervised the Managing Abusive Behaviour Services together to demonstrate mutual respect between men and women in front of young boys, Ms Sciberras said.