Baia Beach Club
Little Armierl/o Mellieħa

Food: 6/10
Service: 6/10
Ambience: 10/10
Value: 6/10
Overall: 7/10

You could be fooled into thinking you’ve landed in paradise – only don’t look too far left or too far right, or behind you for that matter. This is, after all, the domain of the unsightly Maltese boathouse (the illegal kind that swell into summer residences) and a permanent caravan spot.

Happily situated in the bay of Little Armier, this is possibly one of the most beautifully located restaurants in Malta. A sea of the most stunning azure, the like you will find only in the shallow waters of the Blue Lagoon or Ħondoq ir-Rummien, is set against a backdrop of Comino, with a hazy Gozo winking in the distance. This is the place to go to indulge in a spot of escapism, to get away from it all.

A refreshing swim had stimulated our appetites. It was time for lunch.

Baia crushes it on the first impression. This chic restaurant is absolutely gorgeous. We sat outside on the terrace under the cool shade of a pergola, enjoying aperitifs and a delicious breeze; the view framed perfectly bet­ween the whitewashed columns, bunches of hydrangea’s lining the stone balcony. This is not a low-key lunch spot by the sea. It is far fancier than that. This is elegant, up­market beaching and dining.

There is much to be admired here - a beautiful restaurant, beautiful views, beautiful people. Unfairly genetically blessed individuals seemed to be dining all around us before parading their genetically blessed bodies around the lido area below the restaurant. But would the food served in these dazzling surroundings be equally as beautiful?

From the outset it seemed so. My trio of fresh fish served with toasted hunks of baguette and accompanied by dipping sauces, crunchy vegetables and French fries was utterly delicious. The Sicilian chef at Baia creates simple Mediterranean dishes and is positively potty about seafood. I could see that. I was served a gorgeously presented plate of food composed of tuna, swordfish and prawn tempura that just screamed ‘Eat me’!

The pan-seared tuna topped with the southern Italian cheese, Caciocavallo, made for a very Sicilian composition. With the addition of sweet almonds, basil and garlic, these ingredients come together to produce a singular Sicilian pesto with a unique taste. This rather unusual type of pesto is as delicious as it is out of the ordinary.

I desperately wish the quality of the cooking would improve in order for this place to reach its full potential

The union of the succulent, pink tuna and caramelised sweet onions with the sharp, zesty flavours of the Caciocavallo cheese was heavenly, every mouthful bursting with flavour. The swordfish, pan-seared to medium, was tasty in all its meaty glory. Mildly flavoured, swordfish stands up well to strong and spicy flavours. I tried the fish with a dash of the crème fraiche dipping sauce. Infused with fresh ginger and whipped to frothy, smooth submission, the ensuing lighter-than-air texture was lovely, although the taste was unsavoury to say the least.

For some distinctly Asian flair, I moved on to trying the glorious little mound of flavourful prawn tempura. This was seriously good - deli­cately crumbling, crunchy and then deeply unctuous as I tore through the crispy outer shell and bit into the hot, soft centre.

The lip-smacking wasabi mayonnaise paired beautifully with the tempura, imparting a mild heat that could be felt in the nasal passages.  Well-balanced, the luscious mayonnaise cut through the burn of the strong-flavoured, hot wasabi.

The French fries accompanying this trio of fish were just wonderful; light and salty with a crisp golden crust and a fluffy interior. The secret to mind-blowing French fries is multifactorial - the choice of potato, the thickness to which the strips of potato are cut, the correct cooking oil - but the real secret lies in the actual cooking. The best French fries are those that have been fried twice: first at a lower temperature to ensure that the inside of the chip gets cooked, and then a second time at a higher temperature, which guarantees that the fries are perfectly crispy on the outside and golden in colour.

The generous portion of swordfish steak was slightly overcooked and somewhat dry. For best fla­vour, swordfish is ideally served slightly pink. The side bowl of roast potatoes served alongside the fish was a dismal affair, with potatoes that were extremely greasy and limp. They were inedible.

The mezzelune stuffed with spinach and ricotta were under-seasoned but nice enough. While aromatic with the warm, earthiness of sage, the butter sauce was excessively runny and watered down. The mezzelune were quite literally swimming in a broth of butter.

The linguine ai frutti di mare, a Maltese menu mainstay, should be a celebration of the good of the sea… sublime in its simplicity and rich in taste, colour and texture. There was nothing remotely exceptional about Baia’s version. The lacklustre linguine possessed no boldness of flavour and the entire dish was fairly bland.

It was all extremely average. And average is not a word you want associated with the bill here. Prices are certainly not cheap.

The dessert course concluding the meal was also pretty weak. The chocolate fondant was overcooked to such an extent that it had morphed into a chocolate muffin, and not a good one at that. Possibly the most exported and imitated Italian dessert, the Tiramisu was inauthentically made but proved to be nonetheless fairly agreeable. The same sweet pastry cream forming the body of the Tiramisu had been used to fill the layers of the millefoglie. Here, the puff pastry sheets were gummy and hard, which made cutting into the millefoglie quite a challenge.

The ambience at Baia, the stylish surroundings, the tastefully laid-out tables and the affable body of staff all work to seduce the diner. This charm offensive cajoles and entices, tricking one into assuming that a fabulous meal awaits. But something goes awry in the Baia kitchen. The staff dart about haphazardly and service is slow.

I desperately wish the quality of the cooking would improve in order for this place to reach its full potential. As things stand, it doesn’t quite hit the mark.