I am writing this under its title in the full knowledge that I will be accused of treason and assorted other crimes against the state, including lese majeste'.

Frankly, m'dear, I don't give a damn, because it is necessary for the truth to be told, in clear and unequivocal terms

Premier Joseph Muscat has just addressed a bunch of his colleagues from a bunch of countries, some upright and some so bent that they can contemplate their own navels without having to use a mirror. The subject was the Panama Papers scandal that has rocked the world, though viewers of Reno Bugeja's Public (Dis)Service Broadcasting would have to be forgiven, because it rarely makes the news on the Labour Party's portal.

Premier Muscat, no doubt fit to burst because he was in the same room as Dave, was forced to admit to the motley and less motley crew that the Panama Papers had involved his (his, not our, not in my name, mate) government, because one of his Ministers and his (Muscat's) own Consiglieri had been named.

If Premier Muscat's failure to take any action can be classified as a tough decision, the sort that men make when men gotta do what men gotta do then, in truth, he made one

He told the bunch of leaders in the room that this had caused him to take some tough decisions, but never mind, he has a spine so he was up to the task.

Twaddle.

Balderdash.

Bull.

In fact, so redolent of extreme verbal in exactitude was Premier Muscat's statement to his peers that he had taken some decisions, that many people would simply have to call it a bald, hypocritical, bare-faced lie.

Let us see why this could well be the case and why media monitors who work for the various embassies around the land should do their duty and report back to their capitals.

Insofar as concerns Mr Keith Schembri, Premier Muscat's Chief of Staff, the said Premier Muscat took no decision, hard or otherwise, whatsoever.

None, zilch, nada, rien, zero: he has remained in place, doing precisely what he did before Panama took on any meaning for most people other than a type of hat.

That's assuming, of course, that no-one classifies taking no action whatsoever to isolate Schembri from the decision-making and executive processes as "taking a decision". If Premier Muscat's failure to take any action can be classified as a tough decision, the sort that men make when men gotta do what men gotta do then, in truth, he made one.

But only people like his beholden Ministers Owen Bonnici and Christian Cardona would think that, anyone with the analytical skills of a two-year old certainly wouldn't.

Insofar as concerns Dr Konrad Mizzi, Premier Muscat's Super-Minister, the said Premier Muscat took no decision absolutely either, unless you are stupid enough to believe that changing Mizzi's title from Minister for Energy & Health to Minister Responsible for Projects within the Prime Minister's Office is a tough decision, the sort real men make when they have to prove they are real men.

But only people like his beholden Ministers, see above, would think that.

Premier Muscat clearly works on the assumption that since he can fool most of the people most of the time here, mainly because most people uncritically ingest the output of his minions, oafs and trolls and of areas of the media that have abdicated their democratic responsibilities years ago, he can do the same on the international stage, the stage on which he clearly takes such visceral delight in strutting.

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