The Board of Inquiry ordered by His Supreme Highness Premier Joseph Muscat K.U.O.M., B.A. (Hons.) Ph.D. into the humiliation of the Republic of Malta at the Euro(Afro)(Australasian)vision Song Contest has the honour to report as follows.

Preamble

This Board was seized of the various issues to be discussed by Premier Muscat, as follows:

a) the responsibility therefor to be carried by Chairman of Public Services Broadcasting Limited and/or his underlings, taking into account the views of Artisticus Illustrissimus Jason Micallef, President of Valletta and Other Venues of Historic Magnificence
b) the utter failure on the part of the Diplomatic Corps(e) of Malta Overseas with particular reference to the ineffectual communication skills of His Sublime Excellency Norman Hamilton
c) the delusional proclivities of certain sectors of the public

Given the supreme national importance of the matter, this Board was composed of the highest authorities in the land under Premier Muscat.

Evidence

The Board took into account only the Facebook Status regurgitated into the blogosphere by Artisticus Illustrissimus Micallef, as the Board was directed that this learned gentleman is the non plus ultra of artistic and cultural endeavour. For the record, Artisticus Illustrissimus Micallef blames completely and without recourse Mr Anton Attard, of Public Services Broadcasting Limited.

Findings

Insofar as concerns a) above, the Board finds that Artisticus Illustrissimus Micallef was prompted only by his own personal distaste for Anton Attard and by an agenda that is occult. Consequently, the Board recommends that Artisticus Illustrissimus Micallef is stripped of his titles and honourifics and consigned to the Outer Darkness, never again to be allowed to hold his head up amongst artistic folk. Nevertheless, Public Broadcasting Services Limited is enjoined to stop spending public money on these fripperies and make the funds available instead to real exponents of cultural and artistic works of value.

Insofar as concerns b) above, the Board finds that whoever had the moronic idea of sending emails to individuals forming part of the Maltese Diaspora exhorting them to support Malta should be severely chastised and told to concentrate on his diplomatic duties and not act as if he was still a tour-organiser or master of ceremonies.

Insofar as concerns c) above, the Board finds that it is clear that vast sectors of the population are quite willing to be deluded into accepting as fact that which is clearly fiction, as evidenced by the election of Premier Muscat to High Office on the basis of his mythical "Taghna Lkoll" "Meritokrazija" and "Anke Min Mhux Maghna Jahdem Maghna" slogans which turned out to be just so much smoke and hogwash seconds after the afore-said Premier Muscat had scuttled up the steps to Castille.

Decision

The Board consequently decides:

i) to direct a raspberry of cosmic proportions to no-longer Artisticus Illustrissimus Jason Micallef and to order him to shut up about Anton Attard once and for all
ii) to direct a similar raspberry to Norman Hamilton and whoever else sent out those silly emails
iii) to invite the Maltese public to grow up and take the flipping contest for what it is and to stop flooding Facebook with puerile posts.

Signed today 22nd May in the Year of Our Premier Joseph
by the President of Malta. the Archbishop of Malta and the Chief Justice