Patrick Psaila

Any major changes in our lives bring with them some challenges because they are a departure from what has been familiar, tried, tested and true, to something new and forward-looking.

A typical example of this is a change of job or career, whether it is chosen or imposed. We now live in a reality marked by frequent changes. Companies merge, restructure and downsize, which means that we have to constantly adapt to new challenges.

As part of our adaptation to these changes, we experience some normal psychological reactions. Let us take as an example a situation where one decides to change careers, or even more difficult, where the career change is imposed.

One of our reactions is grief. Every new beginning starts with an ending. The first step in dealing with change is letting go of what was and focusing on what is. It is normal to experience a degree of sadness in letting go of our old place of work, changing the people we used to work with while getting used to new systems.

At first we may feel somewhat disoriented and confused. It is important to give yourself time to grieve and gradually adapt to the new situation. The outer forms of our lives can change in an instant, but the inner reorientation that brings us back into vital relations to people and activity takes some time. We cannot rush the inner process whereby this state of affairs will change.

Every new beginning also brings with it a degree of anxiety. The unknown can be frightening. That is why most children and many adults are afraid of the dark. It is very important to acknowledge that a significant change in our working life can make us a little bit anxious until we regain mastery over the situation. At this stage, we need to be patient and stay with the anxiety, acknowledging it as something normal and transient. Do not act for the sake of action. When a temporary situation is frustrating, you are likely to be tempted to do something, anything. This reaction is understandable, but it usually leads to more difficulty.

The transition process requires not only that we bring a chapter of our lives to conclusion, but also that we discover whatever we need to learn for the next step we are going to take. We need to stay in transition long enough to complete this important process, not to abort it through premature action. Anxiety and distress are not necessarily signs that something is wrong but that something is changing.

New beginnings create the insecurity of not knowing what to expect: uncertainty. People have a natural tendency to explain things by assigning blame and fault, giving reasons and explanations that refer to others but rarely to themselves. A friend of mine calls this tendency “aboutism”. It is always because of someone else, about someone else, but never about me.

It is very important to acknowledge that a significant change in our working life can make us a little bit anxious

Our challenge during a transition is to tolerate the discomfort and uncertainty and take responsibility for dealing with it maturely. Some changes are chosen and some are not, and each transition has its own difficulties. If you have not chosen a change, be aware that there are many reasons to refuse to see its possible benefits. By seeing such benefits we may undercut our anger at whoever forced change on us, or we may realise that the old situation was not all that you thought it was.

It is important to try to look at the situation realistically and as objectively as possible. If necessary, talk to someone about your feelings.

What you primarily need is not advice, although that may occasionally be useful, but rather to put into words dilemmas and feelings so that you can fully understand what is going on for you.

Use change as an impetus for new learning. You knew much of what you needed to know for what you were, but what you are going to become will require new understandings, attitudes and skills that you may acquire.

Patrick J. Psaila is a registered psychologist. He has been working with organisations in the area of leadership development and human factors in business for the past 14 years. He is currently executive director at ThinkTalent Limited, a company that provides consultancy, training and development, coaching and personality profiling in organisations.

He may be contacted at pjpsaila@thinktalent.com.mt and through www.thinktalent.com.mt.