Funniest and Weirdest New Year Resolutions

Traditionally New Year’s Eve is the time when something changes – not only the year, but also people’s attitudes to life. Midnight resolutions are a common practice on New Year’s eve; there’s something about a fresh and brand new year that motivates people to change something in their lives, their personality or habits. Here are some of the most common, funniest or even weirdest resolutions collected over the years and online:

  • I will stop eating after I just brushed my teeth.
  • Start using Facebook for anything else than Farmville and other social games
  • I will lose weight
  • I will come up with new excuses for my boss
  • I will conserve more water by bathing more rarely
  • I will totally give up chocolate and all of the other sweets
  • I will spend less time on the internet – less than an hour
  • I will read the instructions manual for the new things I buy
  • I will play more computer games as it is said they improve your visual skills and reflexes
  • I will change my hair color every month
  • I will cook more often and give up on fast-food
  • I will not click on “reply all” when I wish to send a private message to someone!
  • I will work harder to allow me more time to sleep
  • I will do some more exercise – last year I did not exercise even once!
  • I will get a healthier lifestyle by giving up the junk food and eat more fruits and vegetables instead
  • I will organize my life – and my room
  • I will quit emotional eating – it does not help my weight losing resolution
  • I will stop living in the past, but start worrying for the future
  • I will spend more time watching TV and movies
  • I will take up a new habit – smoking or drinking
  • I will not sit at the computer as much as I did last year. I will stand while I type from time to time
  • I will wash my underwear more often
  • I will not text while driving, especially when on a street with a school on it
  • I will not text my partner when we are in adjoining rooms
  • I will become an inventor…or at least enhance my imagination
  • I will learn some new skills, like plucking nose hairs
  • I will only buy black clothes and accessories – become a friend of the dark side.
  • I will start a campaign for cleaner air starting with passing less wind
  • I will make sure to make a new friend each month
  • I will ead more books – physical books, from the library or bookstore, not e-books!
  • I will cook something new every week
  • I will grow something from a seed – anything that is legal
  • I will become a collector
  • I will camp out in my backyard for a week
  • I will go to karaoke and sing in front of an audience
  • I will become a vegetarian
  • I will taste everything that comes my way
  • I will invent a new clothing trend
  • I will say yes to any person who will invite me out, no matter whether I like the person or not
  • I will replace my bad habits – with other bad habits
  • I will smile at people more often – even at strangers
  • I will get a job
  • At least half an hours each day, I will talk in rhyme
  • I will become the poltergeist of a hypermarket, by putting embarrassing items in people’s shopping carts when they don’t see me
  • I will quit smoking my own cigarettes 

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