Dear beloved leader of Malta,

First of all I would like to congratulate you on 100 days (plus a few) of smiling benevolence. I must admit you have been more than super. You have been Superman and Spider-man combined.

Superlatives aside let me put straight a few wrong perceptions. You might have heard, or more than likely been told (because I’m sure you can never do any wrong) that I am a PN lackey, a Gonzi/Busuttil follower. That is a super-lie, a snide reference to a past I have definitely and distinctly rejected. I am now officially a switcher, a fan and the most fawning follower of you and your all-encompassing movement. I have been blessed with a semi-divine change in my colours and have cast off all vestiges of tired beliefs of the old, the new and the future PN with their old wrong ways and sacred klikek. I clicked some time ago that I needed re-inventing and your star and aura did the rest.

Now that you know all about my switchhood maybe I too can get a prize? I deserve it—I even waved when you zoomed past me in your beautiful, money-saving private car. I am so glad you kept that as your official car—even I drive the same make of car. That surely counts as another feather in my cap. All this money-saving for the treasury can only result in your subsequent sainthood together with our saviour Dom. But hold on, sainthood can wait—we need you in many posts all at once for a long time to come.

Anyway I’m sure you saw me wave at you so I am sure this will be enough for me to get a nice small prize. What about an ambassador of a foreign country? I understand—and more than graciously accept—that the top posts like Washington and London have been given to much more deserving personalities. That was in fact meritocracy in excess, posts given to the just and deserving.

But I think I should be given a small pat on my back and a small country to represent. I promise I will then honour you and your new way of doing politics even more. I, unlike the PN, have learnt my lesson and I have seen the light.

Dejjem tieghek ukoll

Victor Calleja

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