Fr Hilary Tagliaferro's name is synonymous with faith, change, compassion, the Millennium Chapel... football. The popular priest who contributed to taking the Church 'outside' speaks to Fiona Galea Debono.
The bride and groom exchanged a subtle grimace and members of the congregation shifted in discomfort. It was the topic of conversation among guests at the wedding reception after the Mass.
The cause: the priest, who in his homily, chose to highlight the doom and gloom of rising separations. Some thought it was an unfortunate subject to tackle at such a happy event; others were forced to look into their own lives and relationships; others still were astounded by the negative facts and figures.
What is certain is that Fr Hilary Tagliaferro chose the right platform to get his message across. Marriage was on everyone's mind - though not necessarily its breakdown - and no one could run away from it. You could hear a pin drop; and you could almost see jaws drop too.
But today, from his incense-filled office at the Millennium Chapel in Paceville, Fr Hilary's assessment of marriage in Malta is not as bad. Far more marriages work out than not, he states. His outlook towards relationships is positive, despite the fact that he considers them one of the "biggest headaches" today's society has to face.
Handing over a bookmark that lists practical tips to keep marriages successful - part of an initiative that is seeing the distribution of a different message in this format every month during his Sunday Mass - Fr Hilary knows that, in some cases, this will not suffice to save a relationship.
"Many marriages that break up were never marriages in their own right in the first place, so I believe the Church must find ways and means of annulling what was never contracted."
While Fr Hilary believes divorce is not the solution, he is calling for the grounds for annulments to be broadened.
"Life has changed and the reasons for an annulment today should be different from those the Church established 10 years ago."
For example, the Church should take into consideration factors like stress, which can lead to depression. "These factors certainly have effects on relationships, but I doubt how much they are considered as grounds for annulment.
"When you delve into the reasons why relationships break down, you find that, from the onset, there was never any love, or good intentions to build something. I think that is reason enough to annul a marriage and enter into a new relationship," he insists.
"Unfortunately, the grounds to annul a marriage are still too tight and limited when the world and life in general have changed - even over the past five years, let alone 30! No wonder we have marriages breaking down after four decades.
"I know of many people who started a second relationship and were successful," he says in the belief that a solution needs to be found for those whose first attempt failed and whose situation he can understand.
The Church is aware of this need to widen the grounds for annulments but change takes time and requires much reflection, he adds.
Lengthy as this process may be, Fr Hilary believes the "dynamic" Church, should make changes to suit people's needs.
But the principles of the Second Vatican Council to adapt the Church to the modern world have not been applied fully since the 1960s, he continues.
"The Church needs to read the signs of the times and adapt to the situation because morals and cultures change... The Church has to change with society."
When it comes to reading the signs of the times, Fr Hilary, who joined the priesthood back in 1958, considers himself lucky to have lived through important milestones.
"I was brought up in the old, traditional Church, when Mass was said in Latin, with the priest's back to the people. We were a Church in the sacristy, so to speak, and I would like to think I had a hand in taking it outside.
"I was a priest who played football with the kids; who wore a sweater instead of the monk's habit; who drove a Lambrettaand frequented political and band clubs."
When the Council underlined the importance of this approach, Fr Hilary knew he was on the right track. He continued playing football with the children, and his passion for the game led him into sports journalism for newspapers, radio and TV. He ended up covering World Cups and Olympic Games, where he mixed with all sorts.
"I met atheists, communists, you name it. And I found great friendship in them, learning that good people do not only exist in the Church as I used to believe."
Fr Hilary stresses he never went knocking on doors for the role of TV personality, which many associate him with. It was a natural progression that started when he returned from his studies in Rome and was assigned to run a youth club in Tarxien. He found an area for the boys to play football... and the ball got rolling.
"Gradually, I realised that playing football with the kids attracted more people to me, and they would attend my Masses, lectures and spiritual exercises."
Before long, Fr Hilary decided to develop this role, going as far as graduating in football and undergoing coaching courses with UEFA and FIFA. Local clubs started asking him to take over their junior teams, his reputation as a football coach kicked off and the rest is history.
"I never asked for any of this, but I am glad it happened because I cultivated more contact with people, reached out to them more and learned a lot from them."
A priest attending a football match was frowned upon back then, let alone playing and coaching. But Fr Hilary's superiors never opposed him. On the contrary, they strongly supported his initiatives. Even Archbishop Michael Gonzi, who was known to be strict, always encouraged him to continue even though he was breaking many rules at the time.
And he was not put off in the attainment of his goals by the odd anonymous letter from a viewer, who would be scandalised by the fact that he was not wearing his "dog collar" and speaking about football, instead of Jesus.
"I'm convinced God wanted me to do what I have done. Through this medium, I came to know so many people and was able to be close to those who were suffering and needed my words of hope. I officiated the marriage ceremonies of most players and they still come for counselling, back from the 1970s when I founded the Educational Sports Centre."
Now the football has stopped - he continued playing until he was over 60 - but the passion remains. When asked what team he supports, he limits himself to saying he sides with "football". Then he is swayed into adding that "the only place where it is played is in Brazil" and that he has a team in every country so he can tease others. Having joined the priesthood at 16, he never had a chance to be a professional player, although he is fast to admit that he had what it takes.
But Fr Hilary has no regrets... Neither is he fazed by the "phenomenon" of the dwindling number of priests, believing the trend is reversing. It was a serious problem for the Church until a few years ago, but no longer, he claims.
That young men still find the priesthood attractive was confirmed by his recent visit to a strict Benedictine Monastery in France, where Gregorian chant is sung night and day, and where he, surprisingly, found several young vocations.
His trademark silver lining shines through. "What was God telling us via this lack of priests? I like to think it is a sign for lay people to come out, take a more active part in the Church and not leave things, as we have for so many years, in the hands of priests. People still consider themselves passive participants - second-rate citizens - in the Church. God, by allowing this lack of vocations, is telling them they are as important to the Church as the priests."
Although he does not feel celibacy is a major deterrent, Fr Hilary is sure this prerequisite will be changed in the future - though not in his lifetime.
"Again, the world has changed, and I think it would be good for celibacy not to be compulsory... I had a brother who was also a priest and he left. He lived his married life as a saint. He was a much better person than I."
Neither is Fr Hilary concerned about the dwindling number of Church goers. "I do not consider it a problem if we manage to connect with the people outside the Church. They too are good people and can live a good life.
"After all, God is everywhere" - even in the entertainment mecca in the heart of which is his Millennium Chapel. "God is not alien to fun and the enjoyment of life," Fr Hilary insists.
Ten years after it was set up, he never thought it would be so successful. But the Millennium Chapel, sandwiched between two casinos, is a hive of activity, catering for a variety of social needs and welcoming everyone, including gays and outcasts.
Problems tackled include drugs, alcohol, gambling and even the families of those who have committed suicide. But so is poverty in Malta a major issue, as Caritas highlighted recently.
Fr Hilary believes abject poverty does exist and is by no means an exaggeration. "The situation is delicate in that we do not have misery and beggars on the streets. But that is why it is harder to realise the gravity of the situation. We have people who are ashamed to show up for food, and yet, we distribute 180 bagsful from here every fortnight."
From his experience, Fr Hilary has no doubt problems of "survival" are on the increase. "We have parents who do not send their children to school because they do not have a packed lunch for them. This is serious because it means young children are being deprived of an education.
"The gap between people who are becoming richer and those getting poorer is growing," he maintains.
"The minimum we can do is provide hand-outs. But there are also situations where more education is needed, especially on how to manage money. Some parents would deprive their children of food and play the lottery instead. But we do not ask questions and we do not judge. We just see people suffering and we help."
As regards the child sex abuse scandals that have plagued the Church recently, and have been described as an attack on the institution, Fr Hilary maintains it is right for the media to speak out where situations have been hushed up.
"But we also need to remember that when these scandals happened, the mentality was different and that, unfortunately, they also occur in families and in every profession," he says, pointing at his problem with football coaches.
In fact, the percentage of priests is minimal, compared to others, he says. "But the Church, being the Church, is accused. Nevertheless, this is good for the Church; it can take it. It should do something to rectify the mistakes of the past to be sure they will never be repeated."
Fr Hilary is no stranger to child abuse, having come across it about five times in the past four years on the football pitch. It may not be easy to discover, but that does not mean it is not happening, he maintains, adding that he has also been approached by children, who confide in him about their problems.
"We have reported cases to the police and have strict rules in the Youth Football Association to immediately ban a suspected paedophile and keep the children out of his reach. If we have private knowledge of a situation, which has not yet gone to court, we pass the information on to the club's administrators."
Fr Hilary holds the protection of minors to heart - even those who have committed crimes, particularly as regards where they end up when convicted. This should not be prison, he insists, adding that an alternative is urgently needed.
"Today, we have so many teenagers causing problems to their families, the State and the public, but it is useless to condemn them in court and send them to prison. In Malta, we do not rehabilitate criminals - we lock them up for a few years.
"Ideally, they should be sent to a rehabilitation centre, which should be an open house. They should be taken care of by professionals not the police - the same police who run after them in the streets.
"Of course, the victims of crime also need to be taken care of. But I do not think that by disregarding the rehabilitation of children, you are taking care of the victims."
Could this be his next mission? "If I were younger, yes..."
As it is, Fr Hilary is happy to stick to the here and now, which he continues to reflect in his homilies. "I always speak of daily life. Having spent my whole life in close contact with people, I have a good feeling of what is happening in society, so I never talk in the air, or only of heaven. I talk about the life we are living now because I believe heaven is here... People are more interested in that than in what will happen after..."
Fr Hilary admits the Church may have "put a wedge between the body and the soul in the past, between eternal and normal life, looking at the world as a sin.
"Fortunately, it is not totally the case anymore, but we definitely need to continue working on this. There are still priests out there, who make this great distinction between the life of the spirit and that of the body.
"And the repercussions are great because people continue to make a distinction between life in Church and Mass on Sunday, which they attend to appease their conscience, and their lives outside, which they consider to be different, their own business and nothing to do with their spiritual life.
"That is wrong! The world we live in is beautiful and right, and first, we need to give a meaning to our life on earth."
Easter is round the corner and it is an important event that offers hope for new life, Fr Hilary explains, underling the silver lining to every cloud.
He has spent a lifetime shooting rays of hope for new beginnings into the goalposts of the downtrodden. In return though, he has "taken much more than I ever gave".
Watch excerpts of the interview on www.timesofmalta.com.