Almost since the dawn of the Internet era, singles have taken to cyberspace in search of a soul mate. Statistics indicate that over 20 million people visit dating sites at least once a month.
Considering the way things work these days, one can definitely see the allure. In a society where looks are everything, it is startling to spend hours chatting and getting to know each other without ever clapping eyes on your buddy. In fact, thousands of long-lasting relationships the world over have been crafted from that very premise: the ideology that, online, you really can get to know someone for their mind, without ever having to consider the rest.
A simple online search for 'dating sites' will reveal hundreds of options to consider before signing up, from chic to downright seedy and everything in between. Dating sites have become big business, and these include sites for women looking for a 'sugar daddy' and for men on the hunt for girls half their age. Others look to a niche market and can match singles based on interests, location or income.
Local site youall.com.mt, the brainchild of Bernard Gatt and Clayton Zammit, looks to create online relationships of all types, whether dating or simply networking. "It was an idea that came to us over coffee," explains Bernard. "It posed an interesting challenge and it seemed there was a gap in the market to boot."
Although the site isn't just about dating, the duo have noticed that people enjoy searching for their perfect match. "Youall is a catalogue of people, all of whom can make their intent known on their profile. It makes it easier as you don't need to look at a person and wonder whether they're single or not," they say.
"We wouldn't call ourselves Cupids, but we feel we're getting people together. Online dating is perfect for people who find it difficult to approach others, or who don't have the time to head out into the real world to mingle and search for a perfect partner. Here all your eggs are in one basket and just a click away. Chatting helps break the ice and socialisation is eased."
The site has enjoyed over 1,000 sign-ups since its launch a couple of months ago. "This sort of site is addictive and people can enjoy browsing each page, taking their time to read about someone they may be interested in. It helps people get over shyness and allows for a closer match than a 'real' place. It offers people the chance to mix and mingle outside their usual circle, and this sometimes translates into online dating success," a user says.
For newly-engaged couple Matt and Lisa, that's what did it. Theirs was a relationship sparked by a cute e-mail and strengthened by late-night chatting sessions long before they ever met up in person. They've now been together for two years.
"We met online by chance. Matt saw that I had joined a Facebook group that he was also interested in, sent me a message and we got chatting. It was nice, because we got to know each other quite well before we decided to meet. Dating creates pressure and expectations, especially on such a small island. By the time we met, I knew Matt's favourite colour, his earliest childhood memory and his dream holiday destination," says Lisa.
When the couple met, "we didn't have to worry about small talk and chit-chat. We felt comfortable."
Matt says: "It's fun having something to look forward to online, an e-mail or a message. The added sense of mystery keeps things interesting. I had already tried Internet dating but knew it was different this time round. Meeting Lisa for the first time was nerve-wracking, and going out for dinner with someone I already knew but had never met felt surreal. It doesn't work for everyone, but it certainly worked for us and we recommend it."
This article appeared in the Valentine's Day supplement of The Sunday Times, February 8, 2009.