Elections in the UK may be over, but this question on the three party leaders is still doing the internet rounds: Would you snog, marry or avoid Gordon Brown, Nick Clegg and David Cameron?
A survey - believe it or not, conducted on behalf of the BBC for a television show - claims that 60 per cent of participants wanted to snog Clegg, the Liberal Democrat leader, compared with 31 per cent who fancied Tory leader Cameron, and, um, only 12 per cent who'd kiss Labour's Gordon Brown.
This is not surprising, as according to newspaper reports, wherever Clegg went, he left an aura of, shall we say, frisson. In a supermarket he visited earlier last week, shoppers crowded round the fish counter, everyone caught up in the excitement and taking pictures with their mobile phone.
One shopper said: "My wife thinks he's unbelievably amazingly gorgeous." After Clegg shook her hand, a flushed check-out girl had to fan herself with a magazine.
What fun. Forget about political spin and sound-bites. Thanks to a telegenic and charming Clegg, election reporting has become a soap opera. The flushed check-out girl piece took me back to 1998. I was then a junior reporter, covering that snap election. Alfred Sant, for a reason I still can't put my finger on, had a similar effect on his red-clad lady fans.
It was never reported, of course (God forbid journalists talk about hormone palpitations at such a serious time as our elections). The oddest thing was that Alfred Sant was no dashing Clegg. He's a Gordon Brown through and through: suit rumpled, tie creased, er, hair, um, uncombed.
Like Brown, Sant did not look to me as if he took much pleasure in human contact, with a body language which said: I can't wait to be done talking to these people.
And yet, after he was done and parted, the ladies all stood there, flushed and giggly and dizzy. From what I could see, none of the party leaders, Eddie Fenech Adami, Lawrence Gonzi or Harry Vassallo ever caused such a ripple.
However, apart from this slight Freddie-fancying blip, we never had an election which was more about emotions than policies. Like the UK's, our own election time is similarly 'do or die' tense, except we lack the fun element.
I mean, we can never even consider playing the 'Snog, Marry, Avoid?' game. Think about it for next election: Lawrence Gonzi, Joseph Muscat and Michael Briguglio.
The point is that politicians, once in power, all end up saying and doing roughly the same things. So, I reason, if they're going to hog the news anyway, we might as well go for someone who's at least pleasant to look at. Or knows how to crack a joke. You know, a fun person.
Which is probably why on Facebook, Jeremy Clarkson had, at the time of writing, 443,948 people clamouring for his premiership. That's even more than the whole population of Malta who want a presenter of a show about cars as prime minister.
So I think it would help if, come next election, as a society, we focused slightly less on the party's manifesto policies (in most cases the difference is marginal) and more on the human behind the policies.
Candidates need to be asked down-to-earth questions and the manner of the answer will shed light on the personality.
For example, The Guardian asked the three leaders blatantly: how often do you have sex? Brown and Cameron refused to answer, but witty Clegg said: "Those who count clearly aren't enjoying it enough."
Endearingly, Brown's favourite word is 'Dad' (definitely not 'bigot'). Cameron's children's incessant bed hopping keeps him awake at night. Nick Clegg admitted to weeping when listening to Schubert. Brown talked of his addiction to online shopping.
These little things help you get to know the person you're trusting with the mighty affair of running your very own country.
In fact, I think that, come next election, I'll be asking myself this question: if I'm caught up in a natural disaster such as a earthquake, flood or major power cut, or crane crashing in a footbridge, who would I choose to have with me? If no one fits the bill, then I'm abstaining.
But back to the survey. Would I snog, marry or avoid Brown, Clegg and Cameron? Well. 'Marry' won't be ticked for any of them - you'd have to be a martyr to marry a politician, I think. Also I'd certainly avoid Gordon Brown and David Cameron.
As for Nick Clegg? Sure, I'd snog him.
krischetcuti@gmail.com