Tag
2 stars
Director: Jeff Tomsic
Stars: Jeremy Renner, Ed Helms, Jake Johnson
Duration: 100 mins
Class: 15
KRS Releasing Ltd

Ah, the ‘bromance’ movie. The movie genre that salutes male friendship – that unshakeable bond that stands the test of time. A genre which has spawned a plethora of comedy and action movies that celebrate the rite-of-passage from manhood into… erm… man-childhood. To wit the Hangover series and its countless imitations, of which Tag is one.

Tag comes to the screen with a fairly high concept. Every year in May, five guys –  now approaching middle age but best of buds since childhood – meet up to carry on the game of tag that they have been playing since they were  in first grade at school.

That they have jobs, are married and in (or coming out of) relationships and – crucially – do not live in the same state matters not a jot, apparently. They overcome any barrier to carry on the game ready to endure any physical hardship to take the next man down with the seminal cry of “you’re it!”.

So that is essentially the lamest of plotlines – as Hoagie (Ed Helms), Bob (Jon Hamm), Chilli (Jake Johnson) and Kevin (Hannibal Buress) reunite with the aim of taking down he who has never been ‘it’ – Jerry (Jeremy Renner). Jerry is about to get married – the perfect time, think the others, to finally get him.

This high-concept plot, however, is boiled down to its lowest form of wit, as over its running time the genre’s most overused tropes are stitched together in the script by Rob McKittrick and Mark Steilen – underscored unexpectedly by unfunny and predictable crudeness and cartoon violence that often is depicted in Matrix-style slow-motion (a gimmick that soon becomes stale). It struggles to achieve any sense of comedy as the actions get more and more over-the-top, the characters completely oblivious to the carnage they cause along the way.

And there is really nothing the actors can do to elevate this into something remotely entertaining. You just can’t care for them and it almost seems like they don’t expect you to – although the film asks for your sympathy towards the end, in attempts to briefly get serious, but it totally misses the mark.

As is often the case in movies of this ilk, the women are simply mere hangers-on. “No women allowed!” is a mantra chanted throughout to explain the side-lining of the female characters.

The most fascinating thing about the movie is that it is actually based on a true story – that of a group of 10 friends from Washington who still, to this day, have an ongoing game of Tag and whose exploits were actually chronicled on a Wall Street Journal article entitled ‘It Takes Planning, Caution to Avoid Being It’, which was written by Russell Adams. 

The friends are featured in the end credits and truth be told, they look like a bunch of people about whom I would have been happy to watch a film. But Tag is most definitely not ‘it’.