Ripoff Estates celebrate eight months in business with mega celebration

Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd of San Ġwann recently held a mega celebration in the Grand Hotel Collapso's Custard Rooms to celebrate no fewer than eight hugely successful months since opening for business.

The entire staff of Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd were hosted to this celebration by the directors and management of Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd of San Ġwann.

In a speech by company chairman of Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd of San Ġwann, David Navarro Scarlett (pictured 11th from the left in the photograph above), told directors, management and staff of Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd of San Ġwann that despite the effects of the recession, the superior service extended to their customers by Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd of San Ġwann meant that the company had been able to weather the storm better than many inferior estate agents.

Grateful members of staff then presented the wife of company chairman Mr Navarro Scarlett with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Her husband, in thanking the staff, said: "While I appreciated the gesture, it still did not excuse these same staff members who had omitted to present my wife with a bouquet after the last reception, to celebrate three months of successful business by Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd of San Ġwann."

All were then invited to give one another a group hug, after which they were entertained to drinks and very small eats, courtesy of Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd of San Ġwann.

At this point we would like to make it clear that this was a mega celebration open to all directors, management and staff of Ripoff Estate Agents Ltd of San Ġwann.

San Ġwann major prize winner

Simone Debrincat Golcher, 47 (Pictured above in stilted and embarrassing handshake with the CEO of Flat-Top Pizza parlours, Effie Pulis Debono), of San Ġwann, got a pleasant surprise last Tuesday week. When she examined her ticket for the Flat-Top Pizza Parlours' Grand Exotic Draw, Ms Debrincat Golcher, discovered that she had won first prize.

In a lavish ceremony at Flat-Top Pizza Parlours' Għajnsielem outlet, the CEO of Flat-Top Pizza parlours, Effie Pulis Debono, presented Ms Debrincat Golcher with a voucher entitling her to a pizza (choice of toppings restricted to Napoletana or anchovy) for two at any of the two outlets of Flat-Top Pizza Parlours.

A thrilled Ms Debrincat Gouder said: "This is a dream come true. I'm still pinching myself. Can it really be that I've actually won such a glamorous prize? My heartfelt thanks go to Flat-Top Pizza Parlours. You have made my year."

A spokesperson for Flat-Top Pizza Parlours added that we could expect further media coverage when Ms Debrincat Golcher actually collects her prize. Watch this space.

Party girl Angina turns 18

Angina Louise, the eldest daughter of Mr and Mrs Pawlu Coreschi Attard of San Ġwann, recently celebrated her 18th 'burday' with a lavish fancy-dress party at her family's home: My Palace, Pustule Heights, San Ġwann.

Among the cream of San Ġwann society who attended - all looking like total pillocks dressed as an assortment of pirates, serving wenches, clowns, Arab princesses, Indian potentates and, appropriately enough, whores, were Chev. and Ms Dominic Tanti Eyesore, Lt Col. and Ms Breckenridge Gatt, Mgr Alvaro Mercieca Darmanin and Pedro, plus a host of Angina's young friends, acquaintances and coke suppliers.

The party was kept swinging with music by Arnold D., with a surprise cabaret by Malta's most famous singing export, Graziella of Eurovision failure fame.

The clean-up next morning was entrusted to Naughty Juvenile Cleaners and Fumigators of San Ġwann.

For your diary

• The San Ġwann Holier Than Thou Prayer Group will be holding a seminar on the subject 'The way of the righteous', at the San Ġwann Headquarters of the online gaming company, No Chance Ltd on Thursday. Refreshments and roulette chips will be served.

• The San Ġwann gerbil fanciers club will hold an intrusive burrow-in at the Richard Gere Rooms, in the San Ġwann Palace Hotel, next Tuesday. Surgical interventions will be performed on site.

• The Fatima Borg Abdul over 70s belly dancing ensemble will be having a wobble-in at San Ġwann social centre on Saturday at noon. Afterwards all participants are invited to retire to the Star of Islam Bar and Restaurant for refreshments and bandaging.