House Social Affairs Committee chairman Edwin Vassallo has called on society to stop hurting children and protect those whose parents were in the process of separating.

Speaking on the adjournment on Tuesday evening, Mr Vassallo did not mince his words: children were experiencing pain in silence and this was dangerous for tomorrow's future generation. He said he expected society to know better, be more responsible and more respectful to its own offspring.

Because the Social Affairs Committee had kept children in the forefront of its reports on the situation of the family, he was frequently called on by people to tell him their experiences, which led him to believe that children were suffering.

Mr Vassallo, a father himself, said he was becoming ever more conscious of the egoism of adults. What he himself was experiencing was unimaginable.

He listed a number of instances to prove his point.

A small boy had declared he did not want to see his father anymore because he (the father) was belitting the boy's mother. On the other hand, parents reported that children in the custody of the father were saying their mother was also passing disparaging remarks on the father.

Children were being used as pawns in "a war of hate" between mothers and fathers who were in the process of separating. In an impassioned 30-minute plea, Mr Vassallo called on parents to stop using and abusing children. If adults had a right to fight, they had no right to include their offspring in this melée. Children should be spared the trauma.

Three- and five-year old children were psychologically broken and were being prescribed anti-depressants. Society shoud be ashamed, he said. The higher the standard of living, the more the quality of life was degrading.

Mr Vassallo said this was "a silent tragedy" and he could not keep silent about the situation. How could society live with the silent victims as if nothing was happening?

Some children were being forced to see the parent who did not have custody. Access, imposed by the Family Court, was to be held in the presence of social workers and the police. What irked Mr Vassallo was the fact that sometimes the police were in uniform, not in unmarked police cars, and the meeting was held at a police station.

He called on those responsible to see that children's rights were protected as stipulated by law. Notwithstanding, it seemed that society had not arrived at how to shield little ones from such emotional shocks. Children were on the verge of being arrested to make them see the parent they detested.

The House Social Affairs Committee had looked at the whole system and put foward suggestions to alleviate this ordeal. It had asked the Family Court to warn the adult who did not want the couple's offspring to see the other party. Until such time, he said, it was not fair for the children to pass through this experience. Their wishes must be heeded.

Mr Vassallo mentioned the case of a girl who a few days ago had just received her first Holy Communion. She had been made to take the witness stand to confirm that her now-estranged father had used domestic violence against her and her mother. The girl had been sobbing continuously.

By all means, he said, let adults seek justice. But could somebody care about the feelings of the children? This type of exercise must stop, whatever the pressures, because this was not fair on the children.

The trauma this girl had passed through would affect her for the rest of her life and would lead her to rebel against society. Adults could not continue provoking each other in front of their offspring.

Mr Vassallo implored legal counsel to have a social conscience and stop giving in to every whim of their clients. Some did not put a stop to such practices for fear that their clients would go to another lawyer. He called for responsibility and asked them to say "no" to whatever was not just.

There were people who, despite the fact that the court had acceeded to their request for separation, still filed interminable judicial protests against the other party. How could one be made to pay an alimony higher than one's income? What was worse was that some lawyers were advising clients to stop working so as to stop paying alimony. These contradictions had to stop.

Mr Vassallo recounted the case of men being sent to jail for not paying alimony and then the same yardstick was not being applied against women in the same position.

He did not want anyone to be sent to jail, and appealed for more compassion towards those who were really suffering. Adults must stop lying so that the other side was kept from seeing the children, who needed the presence of both their mother and their father in their life even if the marriage had broken down and they had separated.

Three-year-olds were constantly asking "Where is my papà?"

Children wanted to live with both parents. Five-year-olds were asking their father whether he still loved their mother, because they were intent on making them see reason and come together again.

Who was prepared to speak to such parents and grandparents so that they could stop and reflect on the damage that was being done to the children? Why were some parents brainwashing their children against the other side?

Adults were not even aware that children were crying in silence, he concluded.