When children start questioning the existence of Father Christmas, they can be ‘let in’ on the secret and shown how to become a giver and not just a receiver.

Sometimes, parents found it harder to accept their children’s readiness to stop believing in Santa, clinical psychologist Charlene Aquilina told this newspaper. This could be because parents start coming to terms with the fact that their children are growing up and they too will have to say goodbye to the fantasy of Santa Claus.

“When the truth is out, children still need to be reminded that the spirit of giving is still an integral part of Christmas. Children can also be told about the real St Nicholas and his important values of kindness, generosity towards anyone in need and love of children.”

Ms Aquilina was approached after research by two psychologists indicated that the Santa Claus ‘lie’ damages relations between parents or guardians and their children. They also note that parents should not scare children with the idea that they are being judged on whether they are naughty.

Children can be told about the real St Nicholas and his important values of kindness,generosity towards anyone in need and love of children

Ms Aquilina noted that whether or not parents chose to promote the existence of Santa Claus was their personal decision. She insisted, however, that the development of a secure and trusting relationship between parents and children took place over time.

For parents to develop a secure attachment with their children, they need to show them they are attuned to their feelings, able to soothe them and support them by making them feel safe and loved.

Some parents may also use the myth of Santa Claus to try control their children’s behaviour. Ms Aquilina said that although this might prove somewhat effective in the short term, it was not the ideal technique and parents should focus on positive reinforcement.

“Children who are labelled as naughty may eventually internalise this idea and start to behave in the expected naughty way.

“It is more beneficial if children are given attention and rewards for their positive behaviour, as this will increase the likelihood that that positive behaviour will occur again. In view of this, it is best not to use the myth of Santa Claus as a parental mechanism,” Ms Aquilina advised.

Is there a right age when you should tell your children that Santa Claus and other characters, such as the Tooth Fairy, are not real?

As soon as children start questioning the reality of Santa Claus, it could mean they are ready to find out. Parents can then gently prompt children to consider why is it not possible for Santa Claus to be real, and they can be genuinely honest with them in a supportive manner. Parents can also share their own experience of when they were children and their past belief in Santa Claus.

If children find out the truth, it is also helpful for them to be reminded that other children may still believe in Santa Claus.

Ms Aquilina referred to a recent article about a mother who came up with an innovative approach for how to tell children about the myth of Santa.

Children can be ‘let in’ on the secret that they are now ready to become a Santa Claus for those in need.

Parents, together with their children, can think of someone who would benefit from a gift and make it their mission to give them a present anonymously to promote the sense of altruistic giving.

“Through this, children still experience the magic of Santa, while at the same time, they are recognising their growth, learn more about the value of giving and the good feeling of satisfaction associated with that.”

This would produce a shift from solely being a receiver to becoming a giver as well, Ms Aquilina said.