John Montanaro and Julia Calvert (right) in The Trophy Room. Also in photo is Vanessa Attard.

Theatre
The Trophy Room
Blue Box, M Space, Msida

When sporting men in their mid to late 30s are described as beyond their prime and headed towards retirement, what hope is there for the rest of us? The pressure to perform has many of these men running in circles to keep up with their celebrity status, increase their wealth, maintain good relationships with their entourage and, most importantly, satisfy their wives and girlfriends… and mistresses and blackmailers…

Which is exactly what James Calvert tried to expose in his play The Trophy Room, which he both wrote and directed for Mostly Harmless Productions, currently running at Blue Box, M Space in Msida.

As far as appearances go, Ben Clarke (John Montanaro) seems to have it all – a sexy, trophy wife, Alice (Julia Calvert), and a sprawling mansion in an upmarket suburb, complete with trophy room and hot tub – large enough to require arthritic housekeeper Maggie (Vanessa Attard) to plod around keeping it in order.

While he is on his way out as the oldest midfielder in his club, his hopes of renewing his contract for another two years with the club’s owner, Sir Tony (Barry Calvert) lie in the firm hands of his trusted agent and lawyer Petra (Chiara Hyzler).

He even has the magnanimity to host an old friend, Harry (Steve Casaletto), who is currently down on his luck and living in Ben’s garage, or as Alice puts it, “squatting” and living off their kindness and her fraying patience. Unfortunately, appearances can be deceptive, as his life begins to unravel following a visit from a worried Petra, telling him that he is being blackmailed for having an extramarital romp in the club trophy room.

A series of hilarious events unfold from then onwards, spiralling to a grand old mess and pitting everybody emotionally against each other, while simultaneously binding them together. They share a vested interest to protect Ben’s new signing contract and making sure he gets his money before Sir Tony suspects Ben of being up to anything which might go against his strong traditional family values.

The Trophy Room is definitely a good night out and is guaranteed to make you laugh

The cast dynamic worked well and ran smoothly for the most part, although their pace flagged a little in certain instances.

Attard’s portrayal of housekeeper Maggie may have been deliberately imagined as rather slow and awkward but I did feel that her interpretation was rather lacking in energy. However, the deadpan delivery of her throwaway lines was spot on and she bagged quite a few laughs.

I found Casaletto’s Harry – the lazy, layabout, unemployed scrounger who stumbles through life with a pint in one hand and a vodka orange in the other – very playful. His laddish quips and behaviour were good to see because they were incredibly well timed.

In contrast, Hyzler’s ice queen Petra – cool, collected and with nerves of steel – was clearly a character who meant business and certainly made it clear in her performance.

The Ben-Alice relationship between Montanaro and Calvert was strong and clearly showed a solid grasp of their characters, with their bickering and sniping as a couple who have long been dissatisfied with each other, using the sharp comic lines for their verbal sparring very well. I did find, however, that their English accents were occasionally inconsistent.

I’m assuming they were meant to be close to a stereotypical Essex accent – characteristic of several celebrity footballers – but both Montanaro and Calvert were slipping into Estuary English and poshing it up.They couldn’t be Essex if you spray-tanned it on them!

Nevertheless, this did not detract from the light, witty script and the resulting play was a fun romp with sitcom-like elements woven into a race to find out who is trying to blackmail Ben while trying to do damage control between bouts of hanky-panky and standard theatrical comedic tricks.

With its blend of witty critique of football and a solid – if standard humorous formula – The Trophy Room is definitely a good night out and is guaranteed to make you laugh.

• The Trophy Room is also being staged at Blue Box Theatre on Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 8pm.