I’m all for plurality, inclusion and all that stuff. Bloggers’ honour or whatever honour we have to bow our heads to. But—oh yes, we always have a rounded but after some nice-sounding statement—I do have a number of doubts about the local greens. Did anyone notice they were in the news lately?

Let’s start with their name. As far as I know all over the world wherever they made any headway they were called the greens. Not greens as in turnips, onions , cucumbers and marrows. All these vegetables could make a lovely Maltese dish called kawlata—hardly to be mistaken for kwalità (quality).

Greens they were meant to be called in the known universe. But of course because we are in Malta we do it differently. So we re-Christened them Alternattiva Demokratika. Nothing to do of course with the fact that greens in Maltese is usually translated as “ħodor”. For the un-Maltese amongst us: “ħodor” are horrible, mean people. So they dumped that name and opted for the great-sounding AD. Obviously, I imagine they call themselves AD as opposed to the other mainstream parties which are all anchored in the BC (before Christ), mentality—old and decrepit unlike them—fresh and avant-garde.

The AD were very modern and new and in fact had a foreigner as one of their leaders—Henrik Piski. Again I’m all for inclusion and whether he was a foreigner or half a foreigner who cares as long as he added to our boiling pot of political intrigue?

The greens—sorry AD—will surely try to get a seat or two in our next parliament: otherwise why exist at all?Then they will add democracy to that most august and hallowed corridor of power. You know, sort of like what Dr Franco Debono is doing but a bit more colourful as laws and budgets are discussed and voted or hardly ever voted. Can the normal mind even imagine what it will be like having the balance of power transferred from Dr Debono to a lone green or two? The loons out there help us from our own dumb, democratic debacles.

Oh and in case you’ve missed the news item they already—even before they had come even close to a whiff of power or to electing an MP—have problems in their own party with their deputy leader resigning and calling for a change in the soul of the party. AD’s soul has long been known to be akin to a watermelon—green outside and flaming red when you look inside. But to be so close to an election and to have one of your stars and top-ranking personalities screaming it out loud and clear somewhat boggles a few green, and ungreen, minds.

The lord of fireworks be praised—we surely have our fair share of din and dullards without more fireworks being let out in a parliament with more greens and cabbages being let in.