When I read the title of the Bishops’ Advent Pastoral letter – “The significance of the crib in our families” – I thought of the good old days at tal-Muzew. We used to fashion crude cribs from newspapers. Then is-superjur used to dip them in a cauldron full of melted wax. The primus used to do the melting trick. The cribs were left to cool down. Following that we place the little pasture of il-Madonna, San Guzepp and il-Bambin Gesu. The larger cribs had a couple of sheep and a shepherd. The top-notch ones also had the l-ghageb and il-Magi.
They were beautiful times, indeed!
The Bishops’ pastoral letter was not a walk down memory lane. There were no idyllic descriptions. The pastoral letter was no nostalgic throwback to the times when the presepju had the central position in most houses and the Christmas tree was just an innovation in a few middle class homes. It perhaps used some “sentimental” imagery but it only used this imagery to target a number of important contemporary issues centering on the role of children in our society. They ask whether our children are children, in fact, the focal point of our families, our society and our legal system, as Jesus is the focal point of the Crib. Are our children loved as Jesus was loved by Mary and Joseph? The Bishops are not interested in numbers. Even just one child who is not well loved is one too many for the Bishops.
Single mothers and separation
They point to two situations where children are not flanked by the love of a father and a mother: unmarried mothers and separated couples. The first brings a situation that results in an “up-bringing being shrouded by much suffering.” One admires the courage of those mothers who choose life and go on with their pregancy. However, one must realistically recognise the pain and hurt involved for the mother, and more so, for the child.
Separation is a very painful process for the couple and, especially, for the children. Separation, many times, robs children of their childhood. Children are required “to make several choices as to how to conduct themselves with their parents in order to protect their emotions”. Children generally find themselves in an emotional tug of war. Children have to carry the negative conseqences of the mistakes of their parents. Sometimes one parent tries to hurt the other using children as a weapon. Sometimes one parent tries to instill hate in the children towards the other parent. Sometimes parents are so much blinded by the hate they have for each other that they instrumentalise their own children; their own flesh and blood.
The pastoral attitude of the Bishops towards all the involved parties is very clear.
“As Christians, we do not judge people in these situations, but we view it as a challenge to love and contribute our share towards bettering our society for our children.”
We do not judge people but we are in duty bound to judge situations and structures and to do our best to put them right.
We are in the midst of a controversy about the rights of adults to divorce and re-marry. Adults are fighting to protect the rights of other adults. However, who is campaigning for the rights of the children in such painful circumstances? Children are the victims of a situation which they did not bring upon themselves; don’t they have the right for extra protection? Who is helping the children who suffer in silence? Who is fighting against the use of children as pawns? Who is intersted in healing the deep scars that such situations leave on the young ones who are most vulnerable?
Technology and conception
Another aspect which the Bishops write about is the use of technology in conception. The Bishops are right to point out that “it is easy to confuse the primacy of the baby with the desires of parents. ... The well-being and the privileges due to the child are a greater right than that of any other person and we can never become subject to it.”
I know of couples who in the most responsible way possible decided to use technology in their striving to have children. The benefit of their children was and still is paramount for them. They suffered a lot and the fruit which their suffering brought is well treasured and greatly loved.
The Bishops referred to the proposal about the freezing of embryos. I have never studied the implications of this proposal but my gut feeling and emotional disposition is against it. I wish to be, and will strive to be, more illuminated about it.
Another controversial aspect of the Parliamentary report on the subject concerns the availability of such services by the state to couples living in a stable but not married relationship. The question becomes more complex because divorce is not legalised. Some ask whether the state can justifiably deny such services to these couples as long as they are not given the chance to remarry. Others are of the opinion that even if such services are provided to these couples, those who are married should be preferred.
The discussion continues.
The Bishops’ pastoral letter is a challenge to all of us, especially Christians. The Christmas story is not a sweet and sentimental story. It is the strongest sign of God’s involvement with humanity. Each and every one of us has a unique place in this plan of love. This is not idealistic chit chat. This believe has to be translated into a plan of action. “All those who truly believe in our Lord Jesus Christ hold his teachings firm in their hearts: to love all those who are living this harsh reality and to strive to change it for the good of mankind.”
JP at SVPR
The staff at JPII or John Paul II Ward Two at the Saint Vincent de Paul Resident regularly cover the extra mile in their efforts to improve the quality of life of the residents in their ward. They do this by the sterling service that they provide in a loving and professional way. They do this also by the social activities that they organise from time to time. Recently they took an unusual initiative.
Last week Archbishop Cremona blessed a statue of Pope John II that graces the entrance to the building housing residents suffering from dementia. The idea came from the workers and was executed by the workers. The statue is the work of one of them, an artist whose work graces a number of churches. They built a fitting pedestal for the statue and organised with great style a beautiful inauguration ceremony.
The sense of initiative the workers show under the leadership of Mr Damato is to be lauded.