Obesity is everywhere in our society today - and this is how it is met by a remarkable number of people.
People who would find slurs against other groups unthinkable still seem to think nothing of correcting, lecturing, and even humiliating complete strangers who are overweight.
Not only is such casual obesity-bashing considered harmless, some people actually seem to believe they are "helping" the overweight person by "giving advice."
And the more overweight the person, the more many people seem to feel entitled either to preach or scorn.
This is not a small issue.
Obesity is fast becoming a worldwide epidemic. More than 25 per cent of Americans are obese.
The implications higher mortality, greater preventable disease, billions of dollars in often unsuccessful remedies - are enormous.
Michelle Obama has waged war on it.
Airlines wrestle with it. Employers prefer to avoid it wherever possible.
And yet feelings of superiority continue to lace the public discourse on this issue.
My question is, while the obesity wars are being waged, can't we remain compassionate? Wherever we fall on the scale, we all are obliged to give some thought to this matter.
Good manners are based on kindness, respect, and consideration for every human being. They often depend on our ability to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and, always, on our belief in the dignity of individuals.
Why are these attitudes so often cast aside when the issue at hand is weight?
"I've consulted with physicians who care for obese individuals and surgeons who perform weight-loss surgery, as well as remarkable, thoughtful patients who courageously shared their painful experiences.
"Their days are filled with pressure and embarrassment: They are shamed by the disgust and judgment they see in the eyes of others - even from complete strangers; they live in constant fear of getting trapped in turnstiles, of breaking chairs and toilets, and of not being able to get up should they fall; they can well imagine - if not hear outright - the criticism of passengers seated next to them on airplanes, buses, and trains; they can spot the disapproval and immediate dismissal of those who interview them for jobs (assuming they have the temerity to show up for an interview); above all, they are keenly aware that just about everyone out there believes that they could lose all that weight if they just exerted a little willpower, if they weren't so lazy, if they didn't eat this, or do that.
"The fact is, most obese people are fundamentally just average-sized folks who have become trapped under layers of fat and can't seem to find a way out. Most have spent countless hours and dollars trying to do something about their weight."