If elegance is an attitude then Mariella Scerri has a lot of it! I find her waiting for me at The Wine Theatre in Valley Road, Birkikara seated in a regal manner in her superbly tailored leopard jacket and shimmering with a natural beauty. Her hair is pulled back to show off her chiselled features and her lips stretch into a Grace Kelly smile to greet me. Lord Snowdon would have photographed her instantly!
I apologise for turning up slightly late and settle into one of the chairs next to her. The air is filled with a distinct perfume I could not put my finger on… A wild guess would be Chanel No. 5…
We do the kissing thing – first one cheek, then the other – much to the envy of two gentlemen who sit discussing some boring business project a few metres away from us, and then I proceed to absorb the ambience.
Warning: Like most wine bars, you shouldn’t judge The Wine Theatre by its façade. Its outer shell might not be very appealing, but believe me, once you step inside you will find that it has got its finger on the pulse of international style.
It’s a taste of uptown style and laid-back glamour put together impeccably for all patrons to experience something extra special.
The first thing that catches my eye is the upholstery which screams out Elle Décor.
The chairs are cream coloured and sleek, with tables to match, and oh, oh, oh… I just love the shiny cutlery on the tables which spell out chic. The couch at the far end of the room is upholstered in black and red striped damask and breathes an air of baroque luxury. You might like to pre-book this spot if you are a big party.
The Wine Theatre is equipped with a fireplace in a secluded corner, and an array of paintings that seem to have found their way on the walls directly from art school. Some of the walls are painted in burnt orange and there is a small stage for live acts to gig on. While the musicians are silent, you can also watch a concert of some sort on the plasma screens available.
We get the menus and Mariella immediately points out an Escudo Rojo from Chile priced at €25. “This time last year I was really close to the Chilean border,” she enthuses, admitting that she is a globe-trotter.
The girl serving us is unbelievably professional and for a moment I wonder whether she is being electronically controlled by some remote device. She addresses us as Sir and Madam, and Madam orders the wine, and Sir orders the hummus, blue cheese, and smoked salmon dips. Madam decides it might not be enough and goes on to order a mixed platter priced at €9.50.
The menu selection is good, although I would have liked to read a small description of the wines before choosing them. What is most impressive, however, is the detail they put into their menu cover. For the artistically inclined, look out for the damask print taken from the actual fabric. A sense of detail always wins me over!
I am not too keen on the white paper stapled at the back of the menu, but the owner – a slim, gentlemen with trendy specs who could have walked straight out of Wall Street – tells us these are not the proper menus. I just hope they keep the damask detail on the cover when they get the new ones!
As we wait for our order we go on to explore life’s most intriguing questions and we unearth stories from Mariella’s past. She is a strong woman who has achieved success in life through sheer hard work and dedication. I learn she was business-minded even as a 10-year-old, and designed glitzy bows and sold them to a shop in Ħamrun. No wonder she turned out to be the smart woman she is today!
The conversation flows smoothly, dipping beneath the surface and uncovering some very strong topics, until I decide to take it to a lighter level.
“So tell me,” I say with a wicked smile. “What would you give up for true love: Beauty? Sanity?” (pause) “Or your bank account?”
She is quick with her reply. “My bank account!”
Before I can probe further, two members of the staff show up with the wine and the food.
It feels like Christmas all over again!
A large platter of dips surrounded by what seems like three bags of galletti is placed on the table by a young man with spiky hair that must have taken a couple of hours to style. His colleague, the girl so well mannered that I figured could be remote-controlled, makes space on the table for another platter with mixed cheeses, Parma ham, and some kind of salami. She leaves with the pace of a Geisha, and is back in a flash with a shiny wine cooler that has no fingerprints on it, and Mariella’s Escudo Rojo.
I am asked to taste the wine, and my first impression as the rich, ruby red liquid meets my tastebuds is that it is round and smooth on the palate, and not excessively powerful despite its rich spice. I give the green light and the wine is poured into our glasses with precision.
We toast to good health and nibble on the food. I learn that Mariella is a good cook and she must have detected a trace of disbelief in my eyes because she offers an invitation to check it out personally. This must be my lucky day! It’s not every day that one is offered a home-cooked meal by one of Malta’s most beautiful and successful entrepreneurs and TV presenters. Move off Jamie Oliver! Afterthought: I’ll wait with that comment till I have tasted the food!
After the first hour rolls by the musicians kick off with the live music. It lifts the ambience and puts the “theatre concept” to life. It’s a tad too loud for my ears, but then, one can’t have it all!
Some time later we are joined by a smart looking gent with a laid back attitude who is introduced to me as: “This is Des… my boyfriend.”
This is Des… my boyfriend turns out to be very nice and friendly and uses his charm effectively, so much so, I have him in my good books after the first five minutes. He orders another Escudo Rojo which is brought to us by the ramrod straight waitress.
When she leaves I tell Des to shut his ears and ask Mariella whether she would rather get married to Obama or Sarkozy if she had the choice.
She seems undecided over this question and finally opts for Sarkozy.
“And what if you were to be a man,” I continue impishly. “Would you rather be John Demanuele or Charles Saliba?”
This time the name rolls out of the cherry lips with a little bit more ease. “John,” she states.
We continue to nibble on the food and take the conversation to a more serious level again, and I honestly marvel at the mature sagacity of her talk. Quite an amount of Escudo Rojo must have flowed down my system because I completely forget about my habitual trip to the bathroom. I plead guilty!
My final conclusion is that The Wine Theatre is a stylish joint which seems to attract an equally stylish clientele. Of course, there is more to it than appearance, as they fulfil expectations on other levels. I am impressed with the service in particular.
After the second bottle of Escudo is drained as fast as Florence Griffith-Joyner on a race track, we decide to call it a day and head home. Des and Mariella stop to chat to a couple with snow white teeth, freshly capped I would say. Once they are done, we leave The Wine Theatre with a self-satisfied smile.

Source: Weekender, February 21, 2009