Francesca Colquhoun cradles her two-week-old son as she leafs through a sheaf of papers distributed by the army to help her cope with emotions while her husband is deployed in Afghanistan's Helmand province.

"I'm good with emotions," she says with a hearty laugh, as she sits back in the sofa of her mother's home in High Ridge, St Andrew's.

While in Malta, Ms Colquhoun née Mifsud, 31, shuts out the bleak headlines coming from Afghanistan's frontline: "It is easier to ignore the news. I have nobody to discuss it with here and I don't want to come across as if I'm whingeing or seeking sympathy."

In Northern Ireland, where she is based, she is surrounded by the other wives and if one of them says "I'm having a wobbly", they all rally to help, preparing dinner or taking the children for a few hours.

But for the time being the support network of her parents, as she prepares to give birth to her third child - her other two are Amelia, 4, and Archie, 2 - is what she cherishes most in the absence of her husband, William.

Luckily, her husband secured two weeks compassionate leave - even though the birth of a child falls in category C, granted at the commanding officer's discretion - and flew in from his base in Lashkar Gah, where British troops are engaged in battle against the Taliban.

Major Colquhoun, 32, who forms part of Black Watch, one of the British army's most famous fighting units, is an operations officer for the forces' 8,000 soldiers in Afghanistan. Major Colquhoun, who has two brothers and two cousins with Black Watch, is the first point of contact when anyone is killed, injured or stranded.

As Afghanistan prepares for an election in 11 days, the statistics are dire - one in 10 men on the ground will be seriously wounded or killed. But Major Colquhoun managed to get away from it all in time to be by his wife's side when Sholto was born.

"I was so scared Will would not make it for the birth. I had mummy and daddy, but he's probably the only one who can cope with me," she said, adding she felt the need to share her story to put a human face on what was going on in Afghanistan.

She stops to dwell on the few days of normality with a warm smile that is hard to erase from her face, as she romanticises about how the interminable absences make each short break seem like a honeymoon.

Major Colquhoun was deployed in March and will remain in Afghanistan until October. From now till then, his wife has to contend with 30 minutes a week on the phone; and that's a treat.

Ms Colquhoun has built a fortress of steel around her heart and believes she is quite thick skinned, "but it has been awful to see him go". She admits saying goodbye has become progressively harder as her relationship grew from fiancée, to young married wife, and now mother of three.

She recalls the frightening time when the Black Watch regiment was deployed to join US forces to flush out the killers in Fallujah, Iraq, and they lost five people in two days.

Whenever someone has been killed, communication is immediately shut down and there is a blanket of silence until the army tracks the family and is able to relay the news.

"It's awful because you are there wondering who's been killed. The Sky News crew were knocking at our doors and we were suspended waiting for that phone call. I had become a compulsive news watcher," she said.

Another time, when her husband was based in Camp Dogwood, Iraq, she was waiting, together with the "Black Watch girls" for a routine update for wives. But it was late and suddenly one of the welfare non-commissioned officers turned up and told them to go home. There were unconfirmed casualties and families were being located and informed.

"My heart was in my throat and I felt physically sick with dread... I ascertained it was not Will, but then I was frantic with worry for our wonderful friends who were with him," she said.

"The Black Watch is a family. Officers and soldiers alike become close during a deployment. It is the same for the wives who are left behind on the patch... the thought that a friend would be opening the door to that dreadful news was horrendous."

Would she consider asking her husband to leave the army?

She stops to dwell on the question then shakes her head saying the decision has to be his.

"I'd never ask Will to leave the army. Part of me feels sick, part feels pride, and part of me feels sad because I really miss my friend," she said, stressing she held a lot of pride in the troop's cause.

"God willing he will return with all his limbs. You never know what's in store, but you can only remain positive."