What happens when 14 Maltese are entrusted to save the world? A) They refuse the job. B) They fail. C) They typically divide into red, blue and floaters and are more intent on outdoing each other than the comet that's about to smash their planet out of existence.
The die-hard political animal inside the Maltese is the inspiration for much of the humour in the movie Maltageddon, which is about to be launched in a cinema near you and tells the story of an unlikely local attempt to prevent the end of the world.
Square Wheel Entertainment's first production and a parody of the 1998 Armageddon, starring Bruce Willis, the film gets away with murder because it does not take itself seriously.
Maltageddon may not be competition for Sony Pictures' 2012 in terms of special effects and drama but "it's not meant to be Hollywood", said Alan Cassar, director, scriptwriter and cameramen all rolled into one.
Before the lights dim and a typical scene in a civil service office unfolds on the silver screen, he warned that the "action comedy" is meant to be "fun".
In the making for two years, it is also Mr Cassar's first attempt, having been involved mostly in the production of rock operas.
The self-funded production, the work of a five-strong team, got off the ground also thanks to voluntary efforts. It included the construction of a 14-seater space shuttle, later scrapped to build the "comet".
Local audiences are expected to relate to the un/heroic astronauts, chosen for a mixture of skills... or lack of them. Joe Willis (Joe Demicoli) is a bus driver, whose experience on Maltese roads should prove invaluable when he is negotiating the comet's craters.
And the rest of the cast could be described as stellar by Maltese standards. Dominic Aquilina is Ċali Casha Mula, proudly appointed head of Masa - the local version of the American space agency Nasa - but more intent on bungling the whole operation, although he believes the future of the world is in his hands. Most of the time, he's either ordering his staff in a show of power or ordering a sandwich.
Xandru Grech is a Maltese-Israeli bomb disposal expert, complete with the accent, and under whose macho and womanising character lies a weakling. Moira Delia adds the on-screen romance with her dubious love for Willis and a particular interest in life insurance.
Hector Bruno is the president with the nervous twitch while dancers and DJs test their acting and astronaut skills: DJ Ruby, DJ Banana and Felix Busuttil venture into outer space, carrying their political party's flags. Then there are the cameo roles of Lou Bondì and Grace Borg, who plays a newscaster.
"We wanted to gather the Malta motley crew. We needed to make a hit by getting these personalities together," said the producer, Lyona Xuereb, counting also on their personal popularity for the success of the film.
"Characters like Joe Demicoli and Moira Delia have their own following and even if these don't normally go to the cinema, they plan to watch this film," she said from feedback.
The movie's première, scheduled for December 4, has already sold out and Ms Xuereb is confident local audiences will be curious; maybe even a touch patriotic.
Apart from the obsession with politics, the Maltese stamp is also evident in the fact that, at the end of the day, the population is united. And its union is best portrayed in a half-moving scene that has Willis embark on a series of linked slogans from both political parties (and unions) that fuse into one unified speech.
In the end, the astronauts go for option D) Take no sh*t. After all, "we are Maltese".
But the question remains: Do they get to save the world?