Keith Lemon: The Film (2012)
Certified: 18
Duration: 85 minutes
Directed by: Paul Angunawela
Starring: Leigh Francis, Verne Troyer, Kevin Bishop, Laura Aikman, Nina Wadia, Conleth Hill, Harish Patel, Kelly Brook
KRS release

The character of Keith Lemon was first introduced to television audiences in 2000 by English comedian Leigh Francis.

His success was cemented by the comedy panel show Celebrity Juice.

However, Keith Lemon: The Film is unlike any other movie that has ever graced the cinema screen, and I am not saying that in a good way.

The characters are unlikeable and the script is hollow; but, mostly, the film shows complete disregard for its audience as it bombards them with one scene after another of crude and obnoxious attempts at humour.

This is evident from the very start of the film: the opening sequence shows Keith Lemon in his underpants as he wakes up, eats a mash sandwich and makes unpleasant body sounds.

The film then follows Lemon in his quest to become rich and powerful, as well as famous. He travels to London where he finds that his girlfriend Rosie (Laura Aikman) is pregnant and is about to get kidnapped.

After a TV stint with David Hasselhoff, where he shows off a Lemon Phone that will earn him millions, he ends up gaining the attention of Kelly Brook, the B-movie actress and pin-up who plays herself.

Lemon also has a sidekick in the form of the very sad Douglas Orange (Kevin Bishop). Brook ends up fawning over him and playing with a plate of bangers and mash (a disgusting scene) with him.

Verne Troyer from the Austin Powers trilogy plays Archimedes the Fixer, who takes care of Lemon.

Soon Lemon clashes with Evil Steve (also Leigh Francis) who has kidnapped Rosie. He realises that maybe life was better off before all the success and fame and without Brook.

The film is directed and co-written by Paul Angunawela, who had previously directed the comical keep fit video, Keith Lemon’s Fit.

His direction is choppy and it is shot in a really hurried fashion as if everything was being ad-libbed and there was only one take for all scenes.

It is also a collection of sketches with dollops of low-brow humour as is expected of this character. I almost felt sorry for Brook who did not deserve this role.

The film features a veritable long list of British celebrities and music stars that includes: Jedward, Jason Donovan, Billy Ocean, Gary Barlow, Spice Girls Emma Bunton and Melanie Chisholm, Ronan Keating and Holly Willoughby.

The picture ends with a blooper reel that adds nothing to the film.

Lemon’s transition from TV to film is definitely not a happy one.