“I want them dead. All of them...”

“He can go f*** himself.”

Now see, I'm a bit of a traditionalist. In my mind there aren't many different meanings that you can assign to the above. Of course, I appreciate the importance of context as much as the next person. Consider the following statements.

"I thought she looked good enough.... to be on TV."

"I though she looked good enough...considering her age."

The conclusion of each sentence gives it context. The context spells the difference between a somewhat clichéd compliment and a rather bitchy comment.

Now let's backtrack to the very start of this post. I have tried to use every ounce of imagination I possess and yet, I have failed spectacularly to find a context that will make a phrase like "I want them dead" mean anything other than, well, a rather strong disinclination towards seeing “them” thrive and prosper. And this from someone who has, on occasion, been accused of having an overactive imagination.

Which is why I'd love to steal five minutes of Dr Joanna Gonzi's time. I can think of a couple of occasions when I'd have found it rather handy to make use of this "context loophole”. A couple of words of advice from the lady herself might come in handy for when I next need to beat a rapid retreat and pretend that the words that have been caught on video really, honestly, promise do not mean what you think they do.

In truth, since Joanna Gonzi will not be contesting the elections any time soon again, what she said and whether she meant it hardly matters. But how can you not poke fun at the typical sixth grader line of defence she chose to take when questioned by this newspaper about what she meant.

“It was conveniently taken out of context.”

Oh, really?

Of course the words were unlikely to be meant literally. I hardly think that the good lady really wants a fleet of people – whoever they might be - to drop dead. But colloquialisms really have no place in a former mayor’s conversation when she is addressing council business and it is irrelevant who she was referring to.

My advice to the lady? Bite the bullet with good grace and do the right thing: i.e. cut out the huffing and puffing, get off your high horse and apologise.

Not that a public apology should be mistaken for an instant fix-it solution, as Julian Galea - a potential Sliema councillor who also recently put his foot in it  - seems to think. In Joanna Gonzi’s case, it only works because the lady’s public duties are over.

In Julian Galea’s case (what is it with these Sliema councillors?) it’s exactly the opposite. His defence when faced with the obvious ensuing outcry about his, erm, less than warm feelings towards a particular sector of voters was that the recording isn’t legal and he was “only joking”.

It’s amazing how a politician can be so off the ball with what his voters care about. Here’s a hint, Mr Galea: what they care about is not the legality or otherwise of the recording. It’s the fact that you royally put your foot in it. And they’re not going to allow you to forget that in a hurry.

In this case, my advice goes out to the Nationalist party. The solution is simple enough: cut the guy loose before he inflicts further damage.