Mental health issues will stop being a taboo once they start being perceived like any other chronic condition, such as diabetes, according to a woman with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Shirley Ann Muscat, 45, has suffered from the condition all her life, but she could only act on it when she finally spoke up and was diagnosed.
“I thought I was the only one who felt that way, and I didn’t dare speak up, because I was afraid I’ll be made fun of, or labelled.
“I spent my whole life keeping this to myself, as I thought there was something wrong with me,” she told this newspaper.
Diagnosed 17 years ago, Ms Muscat learnt there was nothing wrong with suffering from OCD: “No one chooses what illness they suffer from. Some have cancer, others diabetes. I have OCD.”
Ms Muscat was speaking to this newspaper ahead of the Richmond Foundation’s annual conference on November 17, which this year will focus on mental health recovery and which she will also be addressing.
As a member of the foundation’s board, Ms Muscat raises awareness about living with mental health issues.
She only sought help aged 28, and December marks 17 years since her diagnosis.
No one chooses what illness they suffer from. Some have cancer...I have OCD
“When I was diagnosed, I felt relieved, because I finally learnt that there was a name for what I was going through, that I wasn’t the only one with OCD – and also because I learnt that it could be treated.”
Until then, life had been very difficult for the mother of two. “I had the classic contamination and cleanliness obsessions, but there were also deeper obsessions, such as believing I was not confessing my sins properly.
“I obsessed that I was unknowingly leaving out some sins, so I would make up other sins to compensate, just in case I left out any.
“I was also obsessed that I could be a danger to others and had not yet shown these characteristics. Although I was never a danger to anyone, I would lock up all the knives before going to bed, and deep down I wished that someone would tie up my hands.”
If her children fell or hurt a knee, she would obsess that they might have hit their head. And she soon started obsessing that she was an annoyance to everyone because of her obsessions.
Her father’s passing away two years after she was diagnosed with OCD took a toll on her mental health, and she started grasping at straws. She even sought help from a spiritual healer, but her condition worsened when she stopped her medication and ended up in a psychotic state.
It was hard to get back on track, but with the support of her husband and regular visits to a psychiatrist and a psychologist, Ms Muscat managed to pull through.
She became a volunteer with the Richmond Foundation and went on to set up a self-help group for OCD suffers.
Eventually she started paid employment with a perfumery company, and she also runs her own make-up business.
Ms Muscat knows she will remain on medication through her life, just like with any other chronic illness, like diabetes.
She also knows she can have a bad day, but by accepting the condition, she knows it too will pass.
“Although I still have OCD, and will still have it tomorrow, I learnt to live with it. Just like everyone else, I do have my limits and I don’t take on more than I can handle.
“I accepted my illness and I don’t compare myself to other people, because we all have different abilities,” Ms Muscat adds.
For information about the foundation’s conference, visit www.richmond.org.mt/richmond-foundation-annual-conference-2016/.